After A Piece of Our Forever
by dddawn
Summary: Post Breaking Dawn. Rosalie and Emmett have a child. The half-vamp, half-human child is struggling to find her place in this world.  The Volturi's plans aren't over yet either.  You only thought they ran with thier tails tucked between their legs!
1. Chapter 1 Life and Death

**A/N: ****This is my first attempt at a fanfiction which is pretty obvious on a trip to my profile. I take constructive criticism extremely well. I want to expand my writing abilities, and this is a great forum to do that through.**

**Thanks to Readingmama for the catalyst for this story. Some the backstory inspiration came from her "All I Ever Wanted" (rated-M) The idea had been floating in my head for weeks. Months really. Since I first finished Breaking Dawn, I wondered if Rosalie would ever try to have her own child. Deep down, I don't think she would, but I wanted to play with the "what if…" I hope I do it justice.**

**Timeline: It's about 5 years post-Breaking Dawn, Renesmee is 5 years old, the Baby is born in Spring of 2013. (I'll provide timelines just to give everyone an idea of how old the baby is and Renesmee as well until they are full-grown. I know some want to hear a backstory to Kaitlyn. It will come but not until the very end. Very, very end. :) **

**Disclaimer: It's SM's world. I just enjoy playing there.**

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**Chapter1**

**Life and Death**

Darkness. Light. Death. Life. This was the paradox of events that characterized my first day of existence. The thing about half humans and half vampires is that the vampire nature is much stronger an influence than the human nature. As a result, my memory of those hours is crystal clear and remains so to this day.

I can still remember my mother's voice trembling as she talked to me during my development. I can't remember her words exactly, but the tone of her words will stay with me forever. She was in awe of what was happening to her mixed in with the incredulity of a world she never imagined. She surely knew that it was a vampire who seduced her, infused her womb with an alien being, and held her captive in the small apartment that was to become my delivery room a short month later. That would account for the fear that rippled through her body every time the two voices entered her hellish prison.

I've always wondered if she loved me or not. I can't imagine that she thought of me with love at any point of her last 33 days of life. Maybe I should say the last 33 days of her death because it's indisputable that as I grew, she died little by little. I know that some of the mothers of half-vampires did love their children regardless of the fact that the child would be their death. Do I fall in that category? I will never know. My mother died within a minute of my birth. I never knew her. There were the hazy memories of monologues like when you talk to someone in your sleep. You might remember the tenor of what you were feeling even if you can't quite recall the words.

When a human woman who carries a human child is ready to begin delivery, certain events take place. The fetus drops lower in the womb, the cervix ripens, and chemicals course through the baby and mother. The baby's body signals to the mother that his or her lungs are ready to operate, and the mother's body initiates the contractions that will welcome the child into the world.

When a half-vampire is ready to exit its womb, a type of rage occurs. Imagine the feeling of being trapped, restrained, as if your captor is deliberately pressing in on you forcing out air and sustenance- removing all ability to move, to breathe, or to draw energy from your dark world. The pressure is so great that instinct awakens, and you begin your fight for life. You thrash every way possible, twisting and pressing up with your feet feeling bones snap as you kick through the ribcage. Every tissue in your body is screaming for space and air despite the fact that these concepts are still foreign to you. The pain of suffocation builds like a tidal wave, but your physical strength is not enough to escape from this place. Instinct again directs your actions, and you begin to bite and tear your way free. Your arms and legs have already decimated the rigid structure of your surroundings, now your teeth slash through the warm, wet skin that encompasses you like a warm blanking- the sweet taste of blood on your lips.

You are fully aware that you're fighting the one who has sheltered you and given of her body so that you could form yours. It's not that you maliciously want to destroy her; you don't have a choice. It comes down to her life or yours, her death or yours, and we all know how fragile the human body is and how malleable it becomes in a vampire's grip- even one who hasn't yet begun to draw her own breath.

Before I even opened my eyes, the light behind my closed lids registered in my mind, and I knew that I had accomplished my mission. I took in my first gasp of air giving my body the sense of reprieve from my previous suffering. Cold hands lifted me from my shattered cage and twisted me around towards a soft covering. I caught one glimpse of a woman, golden tendrils of wet hair matted against her temples down to her chin. Beads of sweat covered her forehead, combined, and rolled down to mix with tears and fall upon her chest. Tremors began to rock her shoulders, and her shoulders sank dragging her head to the bed upon which she lay. Just before her eyes rolled up to behold that world by which only death can view, I caught the first color of my memory- crystal blue.

I left my mother mauled and bleeding and dying, not much more than a carcass dripping its last remaining drops of life on the floor- her heartbeat growing faint as I was taken from the room.

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"What did you do? You were supposed to save her!"

"I tried. Her heart …"

"You should have tried harder!" Emmett raged back at her. His eyes narrowed, and he stepped back turning and slamming his fist through the wall. Expletives poured from his mouth. "We can't justify this! Do you think that living a thousand miles away will protect us? The wolves will see this as murder!" He swiped his fist through the wall turning it into kindling. He stormed back to her spitting venom in his words. Emmett stabbed his finger at his head. "You're. Not. Thinking! Not about us, not about Serenity, not to mention anyone else in our family!" Emmett leaned against the door and placed his head in his hand. "Why, Rose?"

"You weren't here, and the baby came sooner than we expected. It was almost out of her body when I got in here! I gave her the venom. I… I just didn't realize her heart had stopped."

Emmett exploded. "Don't lie to me! You're a vampire! You can hear an ant crawl across the floor, but you couldn't hear the girl's heart stop beating! Come on! I'm not stupid, Rosalie!" He picked up a wooden chair taking out his frustrations on it. There were only splinters left.

"I'm sorry," she replied dismissively, "but I was taking care of our _daughter_, Emmett. She was my priority. Not the human." Emmett paused for the space of a minute.

"Kaitlyn." Fatigue and resignation sagged in his voice aging him beyond his frozen years. "You of all people could respect her enough to call her by name."

Rosalie shifted the resting child to place her head on her shoulder. "We knew that this might happen. You knew that she could die. We made this choice, Emmett, both of us, and it was a wild stretch to think that the wolves would accept this."

His shoulders sagged, and he seemed so tired. "We had a loophole in the treaty." Emmett sighed and glanced at the rain pouring down on the Paris streets. "Yes, it was a stretch. But it was something." He sat at the small table looking even more like a giant in a child's playhouse. "Rosalie, the wolves…"

"We'll deal with the dogs together. Our family may not agree on our decision, but they will not abandon us." Rosalie's eyes cut to the right, and she was clearly trying to decide whether or not to tell Emmett some piece of information.

"What is it?" Emmett asked.

"Alice has seen us come home. She saw the confrontation. It's going to be okay." Rosalie paused for a moment. "She knows where we are; she called yesterday. Emmett, we can go home, or they can come find us." She walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Let's leave. Let's just go home."

Emmett glanced at her hand and then back into her dark eyes. He saw his eyes reflected in the onyx of hers. He held her gaze for minutes searching her face for the answers to questions that he could not speak. Emmett wished that Edward were here to access Rosalie's thoughts right now. But really, was Edward actually necessary? Emmett was no mind reader, yet he knew exactly what thoughts were going through Rosalie's head. She had willfully and maliciously killed the girl. About this, he was certain.

"I'm going to clean this up and take care of her. Stay here with the baby." He turned and looked towards her, unable to meet her eyes this time. "I don't want you to come with me."

With that said, Emmett turned and left Rosalie standing alone with me, shock and hurt marring her features.

I heard every word.

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A/N: I would love to hear your thoughts. I'm starting chapter 6 and trying to find a Beta. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2 Facing the Wolves

**A/N: I've gotten a little of 30 hits so far. Even as far away as Italy. Wow. And I got my first review! Words cannot express the joy… I will adore that person forever!**

**Timeline: Same as Ch. 1. 5 years post-Breaking Dawn. Renesmee is 5 years old literally although much older physically and mentally.**

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Chapter 2

**Facing the Wolves**

Sleep is bliss. It is the confinement of the conscious and the playground of the subconscious. During the early morning hours when the eyes begin rapidly moving and the brain waves take on a similar length and frequency to waking moments, the mind explodes into infinite possibilities.

In those precious hours I am unaware of what my presence does to my family. I don't see the unspoken questions in people's body language and tiny movements of reply. I can't hear the sighs, hissing, or, worse, the silence. There is no need to walk quietly after arguments that culminate in major house repairs- my presence being the very instigation of these arguments. I don't find myself at American Girl doll stores with Alice just to realize that she's removing me from the line of fire- her attempt to protect my supposed childhood. There are no halted conversations, no code words, none of Jasper's spur-of-the-moment vacations from the emotional turmoil, no more of Esme's reassurances that it's not my fault. When I close my eyes, I am happy and important and at peace, finally. I text with my friends, my pets don't run away, and my cousin looks forward to our antics together.

But dreams are not always simple pleasures. In the undercurrent of synapses that creates the dreams of laughter and fun, runs a sinister flow of qualm and dread. It is this menacing intruder who jolts me awake to the sound of ferocious growls emanating from razor sharp teeth.

"Emmett, Rosalie, what have you brought down upon us?" Carlisle sat on the sofa staring at the floor between his feet, Esme beside him, still and thoughtful.

The entire room was divided into the couples that constituted our family. Edward and Bella stood 15 feet away by the front door- Bella's face showing understanding tinted with sorrow, Edward's condemnation and fury. Jasper stood protectively in front of Alice in juxtaposition to Edward and Bella straining to keep emotions from erupting. Leah and her brother, Seth, stood in human form in the upstairs loft overlooking the discussion below. Their faces blank unsure of what they were going to be asked to do and trying to decide if they would be able to do it. Leah had softened over the years toward this particular coven of vampires yet maintained a healthy obstinate hatred of all others. Seth understood the gravity of what happened during Emmett and Rosalie's absence, and he would follow his Alpha's command for this breach. If the doctor and his family protected those who killed a human, they would be guilty by association. A sad but undeniable fact. At the backyard entrance, and furthest from the group, stood Renesmee and Jacob, out of eyesight but still well within hearing distance. Renesmee had both hands clasped under each of Jacob's ears staring fixedly into his eyes. She was communicating only God knew what trying to calm his anger and prevent him from phasing until Emmett and Rosalie could explain. Only one member of the group was absent. Embry stood outside the Vermont home in wolf form pacing back and forth keeping watch and ready to act in the space of a second if necessary.

Carlisle raised his eyes to meet Emmett and Rosalie's. "I can never condone this. You did, in full awareness of your actions and the consequences, take the life of a human child."

"There are few in this house who haven't," Rosalie interrupted.

"How can you possibly compare the two situations?" Edwards asked. "In what way can this _ever_ be acceptable?"

"Death is death." And this was the cornerstone of her entire argument. Rosalie's arrogance emanated from every part of her body as she prepared to fight for what she held in her arms.

"It's inconsequential whether the person is a rapist or a boy scout. Taking a human life is never acceptable; I'm not saying that it is." She glanced up at Emmett before she continued. "I'm saying that humans have served vampires' needs for millennia. For most of our kind, that need was sustenance. Our family satisfies our appetites more humanely." Here she paused- a flicker of doubt clouding her face for the tiniest increment of time. "But we have other needs. I accepted that I would never hold my child in my arms, but then Bella showed us that we don't have to live our lives barren and without the affection of a daughter. I love Renesmee as if she was my own, but she's not. She never was. I never realized the full extent of my hope for children until I lost the chance permanently when Carlisle changed me. After Renesmee was born, an emptiness grew. I knew I couldn't have my own child, but I wanted Emmett's child more than anything else in this world." She pleaded then, so unlike Rosalie. The arrogance slipped away; the fight fell from her shoulders. She dropped her cheek to the dark curls that belonged to the child she held. Her next words were almost inaudible, choked by the emotion in her plea. "I've never needed a human to fill any part of my existence… until now. I take full responsibility for this action. It was my idea. Not Emmett's. He didn't want this, but he did it for me."

Esme was crying her silent tears. She couldn't handle her children suffering, no matter what the cause.

Carlisle sought confirmation. "Emmett, how do you feel about this?"

"I'm mad as hell right now. We were going to change her. Give her a choice. This wasn't the plan."

Esme finally spoke, "Then why didn't you?" She was begging to understand what went wrong.

And that was the straw. Jacob lost it.

"I knew it! I knew you wouldn't be able to stop changing humans! I knew you _all_ would do this one day!" He roared rounding the corner and taking part of the wall off as he came. "What did you do as the baby sucked the life from the girl? Feed her blood like you did to Bella? Did it bother you at all when you had to rip into the girl to get that thing out, or did you have to practice a few times to get it right?"

"Watch it, Jacob!" Emmett through his shoulders forward, the motion so small but incredibly threatening. This was escalating beyond Jasper's control.

"No, you watch it you Filthy. Sucking. Leech!" The last word exited his mouth like venom from a snake.

Everyone moved at lightning speed to stand between the two hulking bodies at the center of the room.

Renesmee pulled at his arm trying vainly to move him away. "Jacob, Baby, please!" her voice now begging him to leave with her.

"Did Rosalie drain the mother's blood to feed the spawn her first bottle? Or did you have someone else there to donate?" The controlled taunt belied the fury that radiated underneath the words.

The voices came from every direction.

"She wasn't supposed to die!" Emmett screamed.

Jacob matched his tone, "Then how did she get pregnant!"

"It was my fault. Don't blame him!" Rosalie commanded.

Carlisle tried to reason, "Please calm down, everybody, we can resolve this without a fight!"

"Please, no, Jacob," Esme's sobs would not allow her to say anything else.

"You're all at fault! I hold every one of you guilty of murder! But I'll settle for _his_ death!" Jacob's body rippled in the midst of stone.

"Renesmee, get back!" Edward yelled and lunged for his daughter.

His provocation served its purpose, Emmett lunged with a guttural roar to meet a fully morphed wolf in the center of the house. The gigantic wolf sprang. Every vampire in the room was thrown against the walls. The beams shuddered underneath the force, and the very foundation groaned in anticipation of the coming fight.

Emmett reached out to grab Jacob's neck and grasped empty space. Jacob's body flew away at a 90-degree angle; Leah had phased on her dive from the balcony, and the force of her impact slammed Jacob through the dining room wall crushing the table beyond.

"_Stop!" _she commanded. _"Don't do this."_Her snout was millimeters away from him, her breath bursting out from the adrenaline coursing through her body. She willed the near 10 years of friendship between the two wolves to the surface and into her words. She communicated slowly and deliberately. _"It was wrong! We all know it was a cruel and deplorable act. We _all_ agree with you!"_

"_You? Will defend them? Since when did you become a vampire-lover?" _Jacob's sneer hit her full force distracting her for a 32nd of a second. He twisted to sink his teeth into Emmett's shoulder and roared with pain as razor sharp teeth tore into the muscle in his right flank. Leah grasped a huge cord of his muscle and yanked with all her strength. The momentum carried Jacob's body only a foot from Emmett, but Seth was there now- Embry only a second behind, their jaws locked on his throat.

Embry's voice cut through the burn of pain and ferocity of Jacob's rage. _"Stop fighting! You don't know what you're about to do!" _Jacob sucked in a huge gulp of air and froze.

There was the smell of blood in the air. Blood, but not quite.

His eyes rolled and sought one of the only two people who could have that smell. Renesmee stood, bent over in Rosalie's free arm, clutching her side, Bella, Jasper, Edward, and Emmett just in front of her. Warm heat dripped to the floor at Nessie's feet. Her eyes pleaded with Jacob to come back to sanity. His body sank to the floor, the wolf restraints no longer necessary. Carlisle bolted across the room with his medical kit already pulling up Renesmee's torn shirt. Three slashes cleanly separated the fabric and mirrored themselves on her smooth, perfect skin in angry crimson wounds.

"_Your back leg brushed her when you phased,"_ Seth's quiet voice struck Jacob across the face like a backhanded slap. _"Think about what you're gonna do to _her_, if you kill any of them!" _

Leah lowered her eyes to just in front of Jacob's. _"You can't live without her, but have you ever considered that she can live without you? You imprinted, Jacob, you! Not her. She can walk away if you hurt her enough. And hurting her family will devastate her. Look who she is standing with _right now!_ How are you going to live if she doesn't forgive you?"_

Jacob's mind heard every word over and over. Leah's voice echoed throughout his mind. _"You hurt her, you hurt her. She can walk away…" _

Jacob stood.

"_We'll figure this out, man. Okay? We'll do it without hurting anyone else." _Seth beckoned with his head for Jacob to leave. Jacob sought Renesmee's eyes, his silent apology begging her forgiveness.

He left with one final glance. A thousand emotions radiated from that single look. Repulsion. Anger. Hate. Blame. Guilt. I think it was the guilt that I understood the best. Neither he nor I was able to save the girl I tore apart.

Every vampire crowded around Renesmee forming a fortress around her. Edward's hand rested on her shoulder, and Esme held her tightly.

Edward's cold amber eyes fell on Alice. She almost winced under his glare.

"What was that, Alice? Did you see this happening?" His voice grew in anger, and he took the one possible step that existed between Alice and himself. "Did you know Nessie would get hurt?" Alice didn't answer immediately, which was answer enough. Edward slammed his hand through the sofa table; the sound echoed through the silent house. "Did you see that happen?" He shouted. Jasper protectively placed his body in the tiny space between Alice and Edward.

"Yes, but that's not _all_ I saw. There were five possible outcomes. Emmett died in four of them, and in all four, I intervened. I couldn't see the fifth. I was certain that letting events happen was the key to Emmett's survival." Alice looked up into Edward's enraged features and said the wrong thing. "Renesmee is okay."

"My daughter is not okay! How dare you gamble her life in a vision _you couldn't see_!" Edward looked into the shocked eyes of his family.

Carlisle spoke, "The bleeding has stopped. The cuts are superficial. Her body will heal her quickly enough."

Edward was far from being appeased. "That's not good enough. Bella, would you please get the car out? We're leaving."

Esme's cry was immediate, "What? Why, Edward?"

"Because the priorities are clear. I'm keeping my family safe from this situation. This is between them," indicating Rosalie and Emmett, "and the wolves. Renesmee, come on."

"There is no way I'm leaving right now," she said to an even more astonished audience. "I'm going to go find Jake, and then, we'll talk."

"He _hurt_ you, and you…" Edward began, but Renesmee cut him off.

"He doesn't have a monopoly on hurting the person he loves." She retorted with an air of confidence that rivaled Edward's.

"This isn't about what happened with your mother and me."

"Exactly. This isn't about you. It's about me and Jake, and we- not you- will work it out." Her tone softened and she walked up to Edward and gave him a quick hug. "Give me a couple of hours, Dad, okay? I need to check on Jake. We can talk later, promise," and with that she bounded out of the house after the wolf.

Edward was not pleased with this, but there was apparently a history of Renesmee making her own decisions. "Bella." That single word was enough. Bella took Edward's hand, and they walked towards the garage.

"Edward, please don't leave. Your sister needs you right now. We all do." Carlisle's request was too much to ask.

"We've been meaning to visit Denali, and now is as good a time as any, maybe better. We'll find Jake and Renesmee and leave for Alaska in a few hours." He looked around the room. "Give all of us time to calm down and figure out what to do next." He and Bella departed without another word.

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I had only been alive for 2 days and had already murdered my mother, nearly caused the death of my father, and splintered my extended family. This seemed a host of sins for a baby.

Edward later explained to Rosalie that I probably didn't understand what had happened. He couldn't hear any thoughts coming from my mind, so perhaps I would develop more like a human baby and forget some of the earliest memories.

He was wrong.

I understood perfectly. I remembered exactly.

The sound of growls and snarling and the fear of being ripped apart would be a reoccurring nightmare for my entire life.

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A/N: I would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3 Tears

**A/N:**** The first section is present day for a grown Serenity. The second section flashes back. She's going to be full grown very soon. I just needed to explain parts of her childhood that help understand her as a character.**

**Timeline for second section: 7 years post-Breaking Dawn. Renesmee is barely full-grown. She's physically, and emotionally comparable to an 18-year old. She would be far more advanced mentally. Serenity is 2-years old literally. She is about the size of an 8-9 year old and has a similar emotional age. Her mental capabilities are a higher but still masked by her youth to begin with.**

**Disclaimer: It's SM's world. I'm just having fun.**

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**Tears**

The world hasn't changed much in 14 years, at least not to human eyes. Cars are still confined to the gray asphalt that crisscrosses the planet like doodling-gone-crazy. Time travel resolutely remains in the realm of science fiction. World peace has not been attained, and space stations on the moon exist only in the two-dimensional world of drawing paper and notepads. The most prevalent changes have taken place in the arena of technology. The year 2020 was hailed as the Year of the Nanite. This year birthed 20 new technologies that drastically changed the communication and military world. Following suit and refusing to be outdone, 2021 contributed 21 medical break-throughs that would change the way humanity lived and died. AIDS was eradicated in every country on earth that year. Cancer became a common joke with the discovery of a simple enzyme that could turn cancerous cells off at virtually any stage. Obesity is only a scary tale used to scare children into good behavior. Such is the world of the human man, woman, or child.

There are subtle differences through the immortal's lens. The knowledge of shape shifters and half-vampire children created a new chapter in the immortal histories. The witnesses from so long ago spread this information to the ends of the earth, and the vampire world now looks over its shoulder for magical inculcation into the world of humans, wary that the magic which created the Olympian wolves might conceive another unknown enemy to them.

The other awareness, that a male vampire's ability to father offspring is left in-tact during the burning change, has led to vampire covens from every continent experimenting with the idea of procreation with humans. While this surely ended up as a failed dinner for most, there were many successes, and the half-vampire children dot an illustrious segment of the saga of mortal and eternal alike.

I am one of those dots in this saga. I sometimes think of "Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" by Georges Seurat. So many dots, often indistinguishable from the next, at a distance, yet each a vital part of the picture. These dots aren't supposed to be examined in detail because you then lose the overall effect of their corporate duty. Some things are definitely enjoyed at a distance. But what happens if nobody _ever_ looks closely at the painting? Will they never realize that some of those dots are different? That each has its own diameter, shade, unique ridging around the circumference. There are delicate subtleties in breadth and even shape- just because it _looks_ like a circle doesn't mean that it is. Many ellipticals camouflage themselves quite well as circles. But they're not.

I am a perfect camouflage for the human species.

I look just like them. Same color eyes, hair, and skin. Same physical form. My heart beats, my body functions almost identically to theirs. I can eat the same foods and participate in the same activities. I can hide in plain sight. No other mythical creature can compete with my chameleon-like abilities.

But I am alone in this world of one or the other. My cousins, you could call them, other beings fathered by a vampire male with a human female, often feel just as I. We are a mixed pedigree. This makes it difficult to find your spot of belonging. There are many who hate us, who would stamp out every last one of my kind, and there are those who love us passionately, who gave their life, who would be willing to give their existence for us. The constant uncertainty of our fate is a nagging concern- sometimes only a whisper and other times a screeching warning.

I can remember times in my childhood when my grandparents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen, would create these monstrous domino chains. Together, we would set up patterns and loops which would fall to form outlines of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" or Coolidge's "Dogs Playing Poker." The dominoes would round trees, climb hills, even trigger catapults which would fling the lucky double-six domino across a river, driveway, or to the top of a house thus continuing chains that would last for minutes. Like the many paths a domino can take, my life has been set on one path with many possible branches. As each branch blossoms into fingers stretching into the future, I must choose the path I think leads me to the finish. Unlike a game of dominoes, where I can stand back to observe the events, in my life, I live each event without the ability to look ahead or even to the side to see the other events leading to my personal finish. This uncertainty, it's such a _human_ feeling.

And it's the proverbial thorn in the flesh for my Aunt Alice, figuratively of course. As half-vamps make an increasingly visual appearance in the vampire world, we have learned much more about ourselves. For instance, the female gender out populates the male gender 4-1, and male half-vamps are always venomous. They do not, however, have any special powers other than their ability to change a human to a full vampire. Females are never venomous, but they almost always have some type of special ability, usually a combination of their parents' abilities or strengths. For instance, my biological mother, Kaitlyn I-don't-know-her-last-name, was extremely beautiful and my father, Emmett, extremely strong. Therefore, I have the ability to manipulate both beauty and strength. It's a very boring gift in my opinion, although my family has enjoyed it very much.

Jasper explained why this gift is so beneficial to my family. The Cullens have had to move frequently during our lives because it becomes difficult to explain why your father is a 43 year old doctor who only looks 25 years old. I can provide temporary aging features such as gray hair, sagging skin, or wrinkles- something that everyone but my mother finds very amusing. It lets us stay in one location longer and allows my family to step out into roles they would not have considered before. Honestly, who would hire a girl who looks no more than 18 years old to teach collegiate advanced microphysics? As far as manipulating strength, that's even less intriguing. It's not like I can make myself into an ultra-strong superhero or anything. It's more along the lines of a, makes-you-tired-and-lazy-so-you-don't-want-to-get-out-of-bed power. Boring, yah, I know.

One very nice aspect of half-vamp's powers is that they are almost always immune to full vampires' abilities. There are exceptions such as Edward's mind-reading on Renesmee, and that's usually the exception—talented parents can use their powers on their own children but not on any other half-vamps. Being blessed with untalented parents means that I am immune to all vampire capabilities. It's definitely a good feeling considering the types of sadistic abilities that exist out there.

Another fact that is emerging is that half-vamps are not fertile. We do not experience monthly cycles like humans, which are, of course, the foundation of a child's life at the embryonic stage. I haven't met another half-vamp who is much disturbed by this. It's difficult to miss what you've never considered.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and love what I see. I'm sure it's my mom's influence on me. I have long dark hair that begins twisting into spirals the moment it leaves the pore. The longer I allow my hair to grow the more subtle the twist, and it usually just hangs in cascading ringlets on my back. When it's hot or wet outside, tendrils at my temples and along the nape of my neck curl up a bit tighter and make me look 14 years old which sort of stinks. I'm tall, 5' 9'' with a thin athletic physique. Spending your entire life running with vampires and wolves tends to do that to you. My hair and build is my fathers, but my face belongs to my mother. My biological mother. I have her eyes, persian blue, which are striking in themselves and often confused as contacts. My dark black lashes never need mascara, and they're shaped with a gentle uplift at the outside edge. My nose is straight, almost linear, but completely overshadowed by full baby pink lips the color of spring tulips on a rainy day.

But like the dot painting, I am best appreciated at a distance, for if I look too closely, I realize over and over again that my face is hers. Every time my adoptive mother looks at me, I know exactly who she is seeing.

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Flashback

"My life is miserable."

"Oh good grief, Ren, you're barely 2. What could be _so_ miserable?" Renesmee was brushing her hair, yet she still managed an impressive roll of the eyes.

"I hate that nickname, for the 1000th time." I sighed and twisted a nail polish bottle."Are you and Jacob really going to get married?" I asked. I couldn't imagine Renesmee and Jacob married. Yuck. "That means kissing, and that's just plain gross."

"In two years. You can be my flower girl. It'll be fun. Alice will make it the best wedding we've ever seen." She moved on to lipstick.

"Edward hates it when you wear makeup."

"But he's not here right now is he? And you're not going to tell are you?"

She had a point. Although tattling was a pretty pointless exercise since Edward could read everyone else's mind.

"I promise not to tell if you play a game with me. Please!" I welled up all the sweetness that I could into that sweet smile that got me most everything I wanted. "Please, Nessie! I'll be your best friend forever."

"That's sweet, but Jake's my best friend; you know that."

She's so mean. "I'll be your second best friend, and I'll do anything you want me to do for the next two days."

Renesmee met my expression in Alice's gigantic bathroom mirror to consider the proposition. "Fine, one game, and you stay away when Jake's here for the next two days. He's not crazy about you."

"I'm not crazy about him either." I said grimacing. Then I smiled quite mischievously. "Doesn't all that _fur_ get in the way when you're kissing?"I drew out the last word for as long as I could. Renesmee lightly slapped me in the shoulder.

"Keep that to yourself. I don't want my Dad finding out. He's been so weird lately."

"Come on! I want to play!" I pulled on her hand practically dragging her out of the house.

"Ugh, it's hot. Do we have to play outside? I just got ready."

"I want to play Capture the Prey!"

"No, you just want an excuse to jump on me and get me all dirty."

I leaped around like a manic bouncy ball begging, "Please, please, please, please! Just one game?" I used my best Emmett impression I could nodding my head to the left and right on the next 7 words, "I promise I won't get you dirty."

"Fine. Count to three." And she darted down the path toward the forest.

Yeah right. Predators don't give their prey head starts.

I raced after her twisting and turning to avoid branches that were snapping back in my face. I crashed through the foliage and wrapped my arms around her neck in less than 4 seconds.

"You let me get you! That's not fun!" I pouted.

"I'm going to get dirty out here, and I'm leaving when everyone gets back. Let's just go draw a picture or something." She looked down at me and tried to appease my disappointment with, "I can't help it if you're the most ferocious and terrifying predator in the forest."

"I know you're just saying that." Huffing slightly, I headed back to the house. "Fine, we'll draw a picture. Fun…" I said mimicking her eye rolling.

Ten minutes later we were spread out with some of Esme's blueprint paper on the back deck. I was sketching out a landscape of the forest and the large pond that sat just behind the house. Renesmee stood by the steps texting on her phone.

"Can you do the pond? You're better at it than I am."

"Yep, just a minute." I swear that phone is attached somewhere on her body. She never puts it down.

Finally, she finished talking to whoever she was talking to and quickly drew the water feature even adding a river toward the beginning. "How's that?" she asked.

"It's really good! Thanks."

She sighed, "What do you want me to do next?"

My reply was thwarted by a rustling in the trees. We both looked up. We can take care of ourselves well enough in normal circumstances, but there are an equal amount of abnormalities in our world. We stood, trying to find the source of the sound. One second, Renesmee was in front of me; the next she was gone. Simply not there. I scarcely saw the red blur that grabbed her and carried her over the deck and down 15 feet to the ground. I jumped over to peer down and saw Jacob plant his feet and dive behind the house, Renesmee in his arms giggling the entire time.

She was breathless when he pinned her on the other side of the wall.

"Hey beautiful," he drawled.

"You're crazy!" she whispered.

" 'Bout you," he whispered back.

"That's sooo old. You should get some new lines."

"How long 'til you're done with the brat?" and he tilted his head to the side and drew in the corner of his mouth when he saw me.

"Until someone gets here to watch her."

I climbed up to sit on the edge of the deck to eavesdrop a little better.

"I heard you out in the woods, and you're wrong," He said menacingly.

"About what?" Renesmee questioned, innocence dripping from her words.

"Squirt's not the most ferocious and terrifying predator in the forest. I am." I could just imagine the goofy look on his face with him trying to be all mean and scary. Honestly, what did Nessie see in him?

"I bet you are," she laughed. "I'm terrified, shaking in my Christian Louboutin heels."

Jacob must have kissed her because neither said a word for several seconds. Or, they were doing that gooey-eyed thing Jasper and Alice were famous for. Either way, it was taking waaay too long.

"What if I told you Psycho is on her way back?"

"Then I can leave."

"You look great. Don't let Edward see that lipstick on you, but I'm loving it."

There were sounds that just made me want to vomit. I don't care how old I get, I will never do that stuff with a guy. "I'm still here, and I can hear everything you're doing!" I called out.

"Unfortunately…" the dog muttered. Renesmee punched him in the gut from the sound of it.

"You're so bad. Better not let Rose hear you say that."

He laughed quietly, "Since when have I _ever_ cared what she's had to say?"

More sloppy wet sounds with irregular breathing mixed in. Weren't they ever going to stop? Nessie still had half a picture to help me with.

"I think I hear her." One last kiss. "Mmm, you're driving me insane!" Jacob whispered, stepping to the side just as Rosalie exited the thickest part of the forest. "When you've done your time, come by my house. We'll grab something to eat somewhere," he whispered so quietly that even I had a hard time making out the words. Renesmee walked around the corner alone, her face flushed and her eyes excited.

"Hey, Rose, I'm gonna take off before Dad gets here. Tell him that I went to Jake's and that we're probably going to go get something to eat. Maybe see a movie. Okay?" Renesmee didn't wait for a reply before she was bounding in the same direction that Jacob went.

"Uh!" I huffed, jumping back down to the porch. "We weren't finished!" I paused and said what only my mother would laugh at. "I really don't like that dog," and listened to her high-pitched laughter ringing out across the yard.

Renesmee left just in time because Edward walked out of the forest with Bella as if on cue.

"Don't worry about it, I heard," he said, and he and Bella walked up the back steps, over my drawing, and into the house without taking their eyes off each other.

* * *

I asked my mom what Jacob meant by "You've done your time." She didn't really understand the context but explained that when people get punished, they have to "do their time" in jail or some other punishment.

"That's what Jacob meant when he told Nessie that she was doing her time when she was watching me," I explained. Mom smiled a tight grin, kissed me goodnight, and sent Dad in to read with me.

I woke up to heated conversation, spoken in whispers but unable to conceal the anger that had been brewing.

Rosalie's voice cut through my sleep, and, ever curious, I silently snuck out to the landing at the top of the stairs.

"Your entire family treats her like an unwanted pet. She's noticing that you treat her differently, and I won't have it!" Rosalie glared at Edward who was sitting with Bella on the sofa.

"Rose, you're overreacting. Like usual." Edward kept his voice calm and even which infuriated Rose. He knew this of course, and that's probably why he did it.

Rosalie wasn't finished. "I've always treated Renesmee like a daughter. I've loved her just as much as I love anyone here. All I'm asking is that you give my daughter the same consideration that I give yours."

Esme's gentle voice responded, "Rose, you know we adore Serenity. All of us. How can you think that we don't?"

"I'm not talking about you and Carlisle or Alice and Jasper. It's just them." Rosalie clarified.

"That's not fair." Bella added. "I spend a ton of time with her. We went shopping just the other day." She shook her head slightly, confusion drawing her eyebrows together and creating the tiniest wrinkle in her forehead.

"You went shopping _only _because Alice asked you to go; you wanted to stay here. Alice had to practically beg you to go."

"That doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy the time I spent with Serenity," Bella countered.

"Renesmee treats every amount of time she's forced to spend with her as a prison sentence, but at least I can understand that. She's a teenager, and her world centers around herself. I get that. She'll grow out of it, but I'm tired of the two of you sometimes acting like she doesn't even exist!"

"Rose," Emmett was shaking his head back and forth. "This is ridiculous. Is there not enough drama right now to keep you happy, so you're creating some more?"

"This isn't ridiculous, Emmett." Rosalie turned back to Edward. "When was the last time you spoke to Serenity? Actually formed the words and directed them to her?"

Edward was silent, mentally searching his conversations for the last few days to give the exact moment and time. He was taking too long, and everyone in the room felt it. Tension built within the room.

Rosalie helped him out. "Saturday, August 7th." Not that anyone needed the mathematical calculation, but it made for a solid validation of Rosalie's argument. "Eight and a half days ago." There was nothing Edward could say; Rosalie was right, and even Bella looked away biting her lower lip.

"You know, I even get why that dog is so antagonistic towards her. I hate it- 10,000 times more than I hate him, but I can wrap my head around it. What I can't accept is the way her own aunt and uncle are so self-involved that she's not much more than furniture to you."

"And you would fully understand the meaning of self-involved wouldn't you Rose?" Edward didn't back into a corner well. "You bring this tension into our home and expect everyone else to live with it."

Rosalie's voice shot up out of the classification of whisper and into an angry retort, "Serenity is _not_ a source of tension. It's Jacob's issues with her that's the tension around here. How in the world…"

Edward interrupted, "I'm not talking about Serenity. It's your and Emmett's relationship that's the source of most of the tension around here. You're jealous of the fact that everyone else in this house is happy, and you can't stand it."

"That's our problem, Edward. Don't get into it." Emmett's slight threat was not lost on the room's occupants. He brought his voice back to a whisper, "And you'd both better lower your voice or Serenity's going to wake...," his voice drifted off as his eyes involuntarily glanced toward her bedroom door to see her sitting just in front, hearing every word that was said. Every other head tilted up at the same moment and at the same angle to realize that it was too late.

Renesmee entered the room from the garage stopping the moment she saw the vampires assembled there and the posture of their bodies. They all turned to look, not speaking until she broke the silence.

"What did I miss?"

* * *

I gazed down on the conversation beneath me, and my mind starting clicking away. All the conversations said in whispers just out of my hearing suddenly made sense. My first memory of Jacob and all that was said then, fell into place. The glances given askance, the mumblings, the innuendos, all of it wasn't just normal behavior like I had always made myself believe. This huge puzzle was rapidly assembling itself in my mind. I never realized just how many times my existence caused or exacerbated an event in my home. The reality of my world and my place within it was clarified, and I no longer saw it as a child does. I might have only been two years old, but I was nearly the size of a 10 year old with a mind that could rival an adult's and things just started to make more sense.

Jacob's dislike for me was because I existed, because my birth killed a human, and he was supposed to protect humans. He loved Renesmee, so it wasn't half vamps in general. It was just me. My parents' marriage continued to struggle because of the events that led to my birth. Renesmee and her family held some sort of grudge against the stress I brought to their relationship with Jake. Maybe I was the reason Leah left; it made sense. She hated what my parents had done and was quite vocal in her opinions. So much of this was _because of me_. My fault; all of it, my fault. The heaviness started in my mind and seeped down my back into my stomach and legs. It crawled into every inch of my body filling me with lead. Every limb felt 20 pounds heavier. The heaviness deepened into a depression which was so thick, it almost felt like a corporeal entity invading my lungs. I couldn't take in a full breath. I tried, but the air caught in my throat. It felt like the weight was standing right over the center of my chest. For the second time in my life, I couldn't breathe, and the feeling was torture. I had to force the air into my lungs and it begrudgingly entered in short staccato inhalations. My eyes felt wet. They were burning like salt in a wound, and everything around me became crystal clear as the tears welled up and spilled over continuing in streams, not slowing much less abating until Esme was beside me wiping them away.

It was the first time I cried.

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A/N: I'm anxiously hoping for a comment or two. Good or bad doesn't matter. I want to be a better writer. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4 Birthday Gift

**A/N:** **I'm definitely not going to be able to keep up the pace of updating daily to my wonderful *2* whole followers! Lol. You're fantastic! But… I hope this shows that even if people have difficult childhoods, they can find nuggets of sunshine in it. To any potential Jacob-lovers out there, don't get mad at me. I think he's a wonderful character. Serenity, ummm, doesn't.**

**Timeline: Serenity is turning 6 years old. She's mentally as competent as an adult. She's physically very close to 17 years old and probably a little more mature than that emotionally.**

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Chapter 4

**Birthday Gift**

I could smell the wolf before I could actually hear or see him, and my body tensed the moment the word, wolf, entered my mind. Born from a long and tenuous relationship with these creatures of magic and myth, my fighting instincts flexed in preparation for a clash that had not yet materialized. The forest's scent of moss, decay, and soil often mingled with the wolves' scents, but there was a distinct woody flavor that accompanied them. I could tell the difference between each wolf, not only by their coloring and size, but by that flavor which hung about them. This wolf was so common in my world that I could identify him without opening my eyes.

Embry landed in the small patch of grass with barely a sound. It was about 15 feet long, almost rectangular, and quite secluded from the forest which lay mostly to the right. My family rarely came this close to the city preferring the deeper hardwoods of the White Mountain Forest. There had been a host of bear problems over the last 10 years which made it a hunter's pleasure. It was one of the main reasons my family chose to move to New Hampshire. Not only was the wildlife prevalent, but the Canadian wilderness stretched out to the north of us, and there was zero chance of running into previous acquaintances. My family was methodical about remaining shrouded in the indistinct. I personally loved this spot because the kids who might play in the sparsely wooded area that bordered the forest would have never noticed this area which was only accessible by a 20 foot jump across damp ground that fed into a tiny pond. Mountain laurel, 6 feet thick, hedged the alcove and preserved the solitude. The ground had originally been soft soil but now a thick blanket of fescue covered it making this the perfect place to be alone when there were just too many people in the house.

Embry lay down with his overgrown snout next to my feet.

"What's the pack doing today?" I asked.

Embry closed his eyes and blew a breath out allowing his body to twist slightly and relax in the warm rays. He rolled slightly to his right, and if I wanted, I could reach out and touch his snout. I'd probably lose my arm up to the elbow. Distance was always good with these guys.

"That much, huh?" and I closed my eyes to continue my previous activity. If he had waited 10 more minutes, I'd have been asleep. Embry and I had the most comfortable relationship of any of the wolves; he seemed less annoyed by my presence than any of the others. Seth was fine, but he tended to hang out with Edward and Jacob. He was really into the Beta thing, and, aside from a few protection details, I rarely saw him alone. Leah left a few months after I was born, and she was nothing more than a repertoire of glares to me.

Embry sighed faintly, and he seemed to be saying, "Sleep sounds great." Only a week ago, another vampire's scent had been in the area, which meant that the pack was on alert—not much sleep to be had when a potential killer was on the loose. The scent dissipated with the rains; likely the vampire had only been passing through. No disappearances or suspicious deaths were reported, so it was back to business as usual.

We remained like this for about a quarter of an hour. Sheer curiosity hit; none of the wolves had ever voluntarily decided to hang out with me. I opened one eye to see him staring up at me. I was starting to get a complex. "Why don't you phase back? I really don't like wolves." He tilted his head to the side and an evil look crossed his eyes. It took me a second, but I realized just exactly what I had asked for. My eyes widened, and the blood rushed into my face. He rose from the ground and stood deliberately in front of me. He stared straight in my eyes as his body started to shrink slowly, and the fur shortened ever so slightly. I threw my hands over my face and shrieked, "I didn't mean right here! Go over there or something!" I motioned, waving my hand towards the pond. I felt the grass spring back as he leapt across the pond. Less than a minute later he was back bent over laughing.

"I had no idea you were into that stuff, Serenity!" Embry chortled as he flopped down beside me in the clearing.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked. There was no way I could hold a straight face when a guy almost appears nude right in front of me. Honestly! What was he thinking? I was innocent to a fault. Oh, I had every idea of how things worked; there were too many married people in my world for me not to know, but my family did an A+ job of keeping me from anything or anyone that could provide an intimate situation. It was just Embry, though, so I couldn't help laughing.

Embry seemed blessed with a life free from the imprinting "curse". He thought it was great for people like Sam and Jacob, but he preferred to be unattached. His greatest fear is that he'll imprint on a baby like Quil and be sentenced to 18-20 years of celibacy. He's the undisputed bad boy of either pack with a very long list of ex-girlfriends. I, however, think that there should be a time limit before the word, girlfriend, applies. Like at least a day. One-night-stands are just too short for them to be considered relationships. If you looked at it this way, Embry was a golden child.

It's not hard to understand his appeal. You know the wolf type: drop-dead gorgeous, dark brown hair that shimmers with golden streaks in the sun, a body that takes most men months in the gym to achieve, god-like bronze tan, and a grin that causes your body to erupt in tingling sensations on demand. This sort of thing was common in La Push, but here on the east coast, teens and women alike did a second and third look when he walked by. Being so perfect, he had absolutely no free time; girls literally followed him around. None of this was lost on my parents, so they persuaded Jacob to lay down Alpha law that neither Seth nor Embry would corrupt my youthful naivety. It was a perfect bubble to everyone but the person _inside_ the bubble.

"Keep you on your toes," and he smiled up at me making my heart flip flop around my ribcage. I've generally disliked the wolves ever since we first came here, but Seth and Embry aren't so bad. Jacob's a jerk, but I suppose it's not fair to generalize.

"Well, next time phase first. All that fur just creeps me out."

"You'd learn to love it." At this I had to laugh. The day had been depressing. Mom and Dad weren't talking- again, doing the whole, "suffer in silence" martyrdom. The tension was giving me a headache, so I left. They hadn't started the "let's-compensate-by-smothering-Serenity" game, and I just wasn't in the mood for it. Embry was a perfect distraction.

"Love rolling around in a rug? No thanks. I prefer silk and satin. Alice's influence, you know." I tossed back casually.

"Darlin' I would keep you snug…"

"As a bug in a rug!" I shrieked, and we both started laughing until tears ran down my cheeks. The laughter stopped immediately when I felt his warm fingers brush away the tears from my laughter, and I froze. I knew he could hear my heart pounding as well as I could. We'd _never_ talked with remotest sexual intimation. Jacob had orchestrated that little arrangement when I turned 3 and had begun to take on the disposition of a moody preteen. Growth slows as half-vamps develop, and I was now very close to a 17 year old teenager physically though decades older mentally. Emotionally, well, I was still figuring that one out. He was so close, and the buzzing in my head wasn't going away. I swallowed and worked up some small talk.

"Tell me about your trip."

Embry rolled over on his back and propped he feet up on a pine tree trunk. "Good. It was cool to see the old clan. Sam's still chief and Alpha. Really takes that seriously. I'm glad I'm here with Jake. Sam's got mandatory school time and home time and wolf time." He just turned his head and smiled at me wickedly. "Not enough browsing time for my preferences. Feels like a tether to me."

"Can Sam give up the Alpha?"

"Yep, if he quits phasing. The pack has to have a leader. Jake's next in line, but since he's not in Forks permanently, it's difficult. That's if he even _wanted_ it. Your family has talked about moving back since you can make them look like grannies and grandpas and all. But, who knows what's gonna happen? Just take it one day at a time, you know?"

"That's so you. Carpe diem."

"I'm not into that weird stuff, now."

I reached out and kicked him in the side. He didn't even flinch. "Ouch, baby, don't bruise me. I'm not into that kind of play either."

"Oh my gosh! You are being so awful! My dad would…," I left that threat unfinished because there was no telling what my dad would do, and if I had anything to do with it, he wouldn't find out. It was so nice to just be _normal_ for a change. Flirty banter sounded perfect.

"Yah, whatever. The big bad vampires can do all of us little doggies in can't they?" He smiled crookedly and continued on his previous thought. "So Billy's not good. He's been sick for a while, weak you know. He can't get around. Rachel stays with him most days, but they're going to have to do something soon. Rachel's pregnant and Billy isn't exactly little."

"Awwwe, puppies!" I exclaimed with a dropping pitch. Perfectly condescending. Embry threw his shorts cord at me playfully. "Hey, I don't do bondage," I retorted smiling at my own dirty wit.

His laughter sounded so good echoing across the forest. It just bounded over the ground like a stag zig-zagging through the underbrush. His laughter was deep and hearty. It made me want to make him laugh more and more. "Touché, Serenity."

"So I guess the pack will have plenty of wolves. How many do Sam and Emily have now?"

Another chuckle escaped, "Yeah, Emily is keeping the pack stocked. She's got three kids and one coming in about a month. Kim's this bigwig lawyer for Native American rights, and that's keeping her busy. You know that Edward, Bella, and Nessie are staying with Charlie. He's about to retire, so they're planning a little something for him. And that's the La Push happenings, baby. Over and out."

"You forgot about Leah."

"Oh, yah, she was there visiting her mom. Ummm, Leah's good. I don't really talk to her much. She's all human now, gave up the wolf permanently. She's getting married soon. Seems happy, I guess." Embry shrugged clearly disinterested in the topic of conversation.

"I hope you aren't going to be so unromantic if you imprint. Girls love to talk about love, babies, and marriage. You'd better get used to it."

He leaned up on one elbow. "I know exactly what girls want in the romance department."

I'm not sure that I had ever stopped blushing from the earlier comments, but my face filled up again just to be safe. "Geesh, back to that again. Is this something that has to do with getting old? Is this what adults always talk about?"

"No, sometimes we talk about food." Just then my stomach growled, low and melancholically. We both burst out laughing.

I was still laughing when I said, "I'll make us something at the house if you feeling like coming along." I leaned forward to rise from the ground and unexpectedly met Embry not an inch away from my face. I caught my breath sharply and embarrassingly loudly and couldn't tear my eyes from his, and then he kissed me. He gently pressed his perfect lips against mine sealing the breath in my lungs. I couldn't even blink. Heat swept down my body and blood flushed my cheeks and chest. Shivers ran up the back of my neck into the base of my head making me dizzy with the rush. He pulled back just an inch searching my eyes for my reaction. He had always been so cocky and aloof, but at that moment, I could feel an entire other side to him in that one flawless kiss. My first.

"Happy 6th birthday, Serenity," he whispered.

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A/N:

This was the first half of my original chapter, but the second part needs a little editing. Still wishing I had someone to look it over and tell me it's crap when it is and make me look at it from a new perspective. Oh, well. Christmas is coming isn't it? That's first on my list. :) 


	5. Chapter 5 Can't Get Away with Nothing!

**A/N: It's not my world, but I'm having such a good time pretending.**

**Timeline: It begins at the end of her 6th birthday, but in the middle, it moves along to basically where she's past her 7th birthday. I'm thinking that I need to do a better job of showing that passage of time. I'll work on it. :) So the short of it is that by the end, she's full-grown.**

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Chapter 5

**Can't Get Away with Nothing!**

I practically staggered back to the house. My mind was racing through all the possible scenarios that I was going to have to navigate when I got back home. It kept circling one major question, How was I going to keep this from my parents? In a normal walk home, I'd have figured it all out with plenty of time to run alternates. The fact that Embry still held my hand and moved to my meandering pace made concentration a joke. I kept sneaking sideways glances at him, and I knew he felt me looking. I just couldn't help it. I was stunned. I had imagined my first kiss a million times. What teenager doesn't? My parentage didn't change the fact that I wanted someone someday to think I was the world. I'd probably spent hours wondering what that moment would feel like.

It was so much better than my imagination, and I wanted to do it again and again.

We were a couple of miles away from the house when he stopped. I didn't dare take another step. He faced me taking in my eyes, wild hair, trembling heart, and slowing inhaling breath. If he kissed me right now, I didn't want to have to stop to breathe.

"I didn't actually _plan_ to do that, but I'm glad I did. You're beautiful and brilliant and amazing." He glanced at the house. I couldn't guess what he was thinking. "Alpha law broke at midnight. I know you think Jake hates you, but it's not like that." I know he saw my look of incredulity. I wasn't stupid. He laughed at my expression. "I mean, I know you're never going to be friends, but it's not _you._ Okay?"

Yah, right.

"I'm telling you the truth here." He accented the next three whispers with a tiny kiss first on my forehead, then the tip of my nose, and finally my mouth. "It's. Not. You."

I just stood there, my feet embedded in the ground, looking up with complete adoration. My heart started beating like crazy. He just grinned and continued, "Jake just thought you should have a chance to make your own choices right now. I'm very good at controlling my thoughts, and Jake won't give it away. You're okay here, alright? Alice can't see what happened, and Edward won't find out telepathically or through whatever mojo he uses. Just go on in, enjoy dinner, and I'll be thinking of you." He winked and left me speechless.

Oh my gosh, he was gorgeous!

The next half hour was pure memorized zombie routine.

_Walk through the house._

_Aim for the kitchen._

_Speak so as to not draw too much attention to myself._

_Make food- Mac & Cheese._

_Swallow._

_Swallow Again._

_Breathe in and out._

_Sigh, remember every single moment from earlier, how his hair breezed this way and that in the wind. Re-live the feel of his lips pressed against mine. Memorize the intensity of his eyes when he pulled away. Imagine him in the very near future wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer and closer. How he almost phased in front of me knowing that clothing doesn't just pop on and off… _

_Crap, my heart's going nuts. Go back to swallow, swallow, swallow._

_Take the most casual glance around the kitchen. Inventory: Esme, Mom, and Alice. Esme's washing my dishes from dinner. Mom's ruminating by the window. Alice is looking straight at me!_

_Alice knows! I just know it! She keeps looking at me like she knows what happened! Embry was right, she can't have seen it. Did she come looking for me and see what happened? Did she overhear Embry outside? My own second guessing was giving me a headache._

"Serenity, are you okay, honey? Your heart's beating a mile a minute." Esme reached over and felt my forehead. Of course I wasn't sick, we don't get sick. But something was causing my heart to flutter. Little did she know…

_I'm just freaking out because Embry kissed me earlier, and now I'm afraid that you'll all find out, and it won't happen again._

"I don't know. I'm just feeling, umm… off, tonight." I pushed my food away. I never liked people to watch me eat anyway.

"Where did you go today?" Alice wondered.

The mantra began, _she knows… she knows… _"Just to the edge of the forest. I wanted some quiet."

"You didn't have to go anywhere for that. It was dead silent all day long." Alice rarely caused any conflict, but she wasn't one to walk on egg shells either. Rosalie didn't even turn her head from the window even though she knew that remark was directed at her.

"It's just what I wanted to do, you know?"

"Of course. It's your birthday, and you're entitled to some alone time if that's what you want." Esme was an angel.

It didn't pacify Alice, and I knew I was going to have to figure out something to tell her—especially if I was going to make a habit of sneaking around.

Of course I should have known that trying to get away with something in my family would be a pain in the butt. There were too _many_ of them. It's not like I could sneak away; any one of them could follow my scent effortlessly, not to mention that finding my scent mixed with Embry's all the time would be a red flag. Fortunately, Jake didn't seem to care less about what I did or didn't do and never gave me a thought. So I really was safe from him telling Edward. He did seem to take advantage of Embry's frequent presence around the house to escape for some alone time with Renesmee. They had a house that they shared with the wolves a couple of miles away. It was better for Edward's state of mind if Jacob and Renesmee spent their personal time far, far away.

I, of course, was prohibited from the place. Jacob didn't want me anywhere near it, and Mom and Dad both agreed, though they never questioned if the Alpha law was still in place for me. Thank goodness for small favors.

In short, the majority of the next year was spent wishing. Wishing Edward and Bella would stay on vacation a little longer. Wishing Alice hadn't come by at the exact moment I was going to sneak out to the woods. I was seriously beginning to think that the whole I-can't-see-half-breeds nonsense was a crock of bologna because her timing was uncannily accurate even without a sixth sense. I spent a lot of time wishing that Jasper would quit looking at me with those intense stares that questioned the reason for my increased heartbeats and the tiny shuddering breaths I would take while remembering snippets of previous encounters with Embry.

But mostly I just wished for more of those moments when it was just Embry and me outside with the autumn breeze whispering around us, golden leaves spiraling lazily to the cooling earth. Sometimes under an early sunrise, mostly hidden in the shadows of an invisible moon. Tiny stolen fragments of time that made my world ignite with shimmers of brilliant light. Every kiss seemed like the very first. My pulse would race while my entire body trembled in the expectation of how that first prolonged second would feel when he would lightly touch my lips with his. I live for those segments of my life that include Embry; the non-Embry times are just generic fillers providing the appropriate amount of space to form the hours, days, or weeks between our time together.

Embry's become my best friend. He's genuine and stable. There's no drama with him, and in my life, that's a huge plus. He gets along pretty well with my dad and everyone else. He never picks a fight and doesn't get bent out of shape when Mom throws out attitude. He and Seth more than compensate for Jacob's never ending provocations, although, they rarely involve me. I don't understand the high Jacob gets from antagonizing Mom, but it goes back further than my memory serves. Embry says that relationship is a 50-50 composition—both equally involved in the play. Everyone else seems to enjoy the comic relief of Jacob's sarcasm and cutting remarks verses Mom's equally acerbic wit. We usually manage to get some alone time during these exchanges with Alice's belief that "adults should never argue in front of kids." The solution? She gets rid of me, and it works like a charm every time. I swear that she, Embry, and Jacob orchestrate these sometimes, but how can I possibly mind? Each occurrence guarantees me at least 20 minutes of Embry-time out of earshot of the family. Alice is wonderful anyway, but she's reaching new levels if this is her doing.

It was during one of these exchanges when we planned our first night together. The entire family was going to be out of the house the coming weekend. Edward, Bella, Jacob, Seth, and Renesmee were flying to Forks Thursday to visit Charlie and Billy for a late vacation; they would be gone for the entire week. Dad and Jasper planned to hunt in Canada, and all the women were leaving for the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in New York City. Carlisle was working double shifts because of an odd flu outbreak that was proving fatal for too many of the children. When he wasn't at the hospital, he was in the laboratory he set up at a sister hospital when we first moved here. He was instrumental in the cancer cures discovered that year and was trying to figure out why the flu virus was mutating as it was right now. The short story was that he'd be nowhere near the house while Embry would be quite near. It was perfect. The only catch was getting myself excused from the trip.

Humans had it made when they needed to get out of something.

I've got a headache.

I'm sick.

My stomach's not right.

Allergies

Back pain

It's that time

The list went on and on. My excuses were pathetic. I made myself erupt into giggles every time I pictured telling them why I didn't want to go.

_Mom, Gran, Alice, normally I'd love to spend the week cataloging the best of the fashion world with you, but I would prefer to spend an entire night or two with Embry _alone_. I've been full grown for about 6 months, but we've never been _together_ yet. I'd like that to change really soon. I'm a little nervous, so if you would all give me the house Saturday night, it'll be great. Thanks! _

That would float like lead.

This needed stratagem. Therefore, I spent all day Monday with Mom hunting. I normally avoid these trips, but it was a good way to expend some energy. I kept asking to go further north into Maine, and we eventually ended up at the coast. Clouds were drifting lazily down the beach, and we enjoyed a long conversation about what I wanted to do next year. We talked about college and what I planned to major in. I thought the medical field would be interesting. It had kept Grandpa's interest for 300 years. Mom actually graduated Suma Cum Laude from the school of medicine at Colombia University during one of her goes. She seemed excited for me. Everyone would go wherever I chose. Europe sounded romantic and steeped in history, but that was too far from Embry. In the end, I hadn't made up my mind, and she seemed okay with that. I was late getting to bed that night, but I ended up early in the morning.

I waved off exhaustion and fixed a huge breakfast for me and whoever else cared to scavenge. There was always a wolf or two around. None of them cared to cook, and it was the only way I felt safe getting even with Jacob for past faults. Once I mixed in dog food with his chili after a particularly mean jab that I shouldn't exist; he never noticed.

After breakfast, I spent the entire day organizing and reorganizing my room with Esme and Mom. I then talked Dad into a late movie in Boston with the intent of getting no sleep again for a second night. Wednesday had already been planned for a trip into Concord. Alice did a fair share of shopping online, but there was nothing like the footwork and the experience of seeing the colors firsthand, feeling the texture, and exploring the scents of new purchases. It didn't take much persuading to have my hair and nails done; Alice couldn't resist the salons, fascinated as she was with female human rituals, and watching the specialists create miniature works of art on my fingers and toes was pure joy for her. I didn't understand it at all except that she finally had someone prissy enough to enjoy the girly pleasures in life.

Of course we stayed up playing cards Wednesday night. Seth and I against Alice and Embry. Edward and Emmett thoroughly enjoyed seeing her play an honest game although a fair amount of cheating was attempted. It was kind of stupid when you were playing with vampires, they didn't miss a thing, but Seth and I had tiny signals usually involving body posture, breaths, or how long to look at our partner before playing. We won most of the time, and for someone who _always_ knew what was coming, it was a very sweet victory. My signals with Seth were the only secrets I kept from Embry.

By the time I dragged myself out of bed Thursday morning, I didn't have to feign fatigue; it was written all over my face. I clumped downstairs, my hair disco dancing around my head refusing to stay in my ponytail holder.

"Serenity, you look awful."

"Thanks, Embry, you look like crap, too." Which came out along with a giant yawn, so most of it was lost in a bunch of "anks," ees," and "Ooos." Of course that was planned out. He was never hateful to me, but we kept a little bit of brother and sister teasing going on to maintain the illusion of our indifference to one another.

"Were you up all night thinking of a new set of cheat codes for the next card game?"

Another yawn. "I don't cheat," and I rummaged for a box of Raisin Nut Bran.

His laughter followed him out of the room.

Esme had followed me into the kitchen and took a long look noting the dark circles under my eyes. They were common enough on them, but I never had the bags that I sported now.

"Did you sleep?" she asked. "I checked on you twice, and you seemed pretty well asleep.

"I dreamt all night long- drawn out and detailed dreams. I could remember every single event when I would wake up. Usually, I only remember a feeling or a general idea of what happened. It was weird. This last one wasn't very good," I explained with a yawn or two mixed in.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Esme questioned. I felt horrible about lying to her.

"Nah, I just want to sleep without dancing penguins and sharks ripping me apart in the middle of the Pacific."

Alice's melodious voice rang out across the kitchen. "Maybe you should stay home this weekend." It was a conscious effort on my part to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. Alice was going to make this way too easy.

"No, I want to go," I can't believe I'm having this side of the conversation. "I've been looking forward to this for weeks."

"It's not like there's not another show in the Spring. It will be better anyway. I've seen the schedule, and this year's fall collection isn't too exciting although there are two new designers that I'm impressed with. They're both based out of Paris, and I thought I'd check them out when Jazz and I visit after Christmas. You could go with us if you wanted. That will be fun!" She could talk fashion all day.

Esme chimed in. "You really have been going hard for the last few days, honey."

"Yah, you think you're a vampire or something?" Dad chimed in picking up my box of cereal, sniffing, and grimacing as though I was eating dung. He could be hilarious at times. "Alice, you, Rose, and Esme should enjoy your trip. Rose has been _dying_ to get out of the house." Mom hissed under her breath. "I'll stay here and keep her company." He looked at me, rubbed my head, and grinned, "I'll remind you how hunting's really done."

Crap.

"Jasper, you just got dumped." I needed someone else to jump in here.

He placed two fingers on the side of his chin and drawled, "And I already picked out all my clothes and accessories." The entire room laughed. I just propped my head on the table.

Alice kept on, "It's not like she's going to be alone. Embry will be around and Carlisle is a 5-minute run away. Come on, guys, she's not a little kid." It was all I could do not to drop my mouth again and just stare.

Mom seemed okay with Alice's assessment of the situation. "Are you sure? Any of us would be happy to stay here with you." I had it made. If Mom was okay with it, I was home free.

"Can I fly up later if I feel like it? Although, I might just crawl into bed and not get up for three days."

"Yah, I remember when some people around here used to crawl into bed and not return for three days," Alice chimed in.

"Ugh! Over-informed!" I hugged both of my parents and danced over to give a quick kiss on the cheek to Esme and Alice. "Have a great time. I'm going to steal some of Bella's books and read for a while."

And a couple of hours later, they _all_ left.

* * *

My heart measured the silence that surrounded me. There were the normal sounds of the house shifting with the wind or tectonic movements and the bustle of life outside where Monarch butterflies were preparing their journey to the south and all sorts of wildlife were raiding each other's stores for the winter ahead. This was white noise for the extrasensory, and I allowed my ears to reach out to that one sound that I wished to hear.

Embry entered from the front of the house. I stepped out my door and laid my eyes on his earthy perfection. He simply stood there looking up at me with eyes of deep mocha set inside that rich mahogany skin. I loved that he was here for me. I loved that he wasn't rushing this. I loved the way he stood there, legs relaxed, his left leg supporting the weight of his body while his arms hung loosely in the jeans he wore, each thumb caught on a loop of the fabric. He looked so comfortable and confident; like this was an everyday luxury we were afforded. I wished I could absorb that confidence and use it to power my feet into action. I just stood there dumbstruck by his body. My fingers ached to touch him. My arms wanted nothing but to wrap around his neck and not let go. Why couldn't I make my stupid legs move?

He looked down and grinned such a knowing smile. I had no "knowing" looks. Besides book smarts, I didn't know a thing about love and life, but when he lifted his eyes to find mine and lifted his finger to beckon me down, my body didn't hesitate. I all but repelled down the balcony to land without the least bit of dignity right in front of him. I ran the very tips of my fingers up his abs, over his chest and around his neck, stretching to the tips of my toes to place a tiny kiss on his bottom lip.

"I never thought you'd actually pull it off." Embry whispered as he brushed my hair off my shoulders and behind my neck. He kissed my shoulder beside the tiny strap from the camisole that I wore.

"I owe Alice big time."

"Mmm, hmm," and he placed his chin on my shoulder and reached his arms around my waist and just squeezed. "This is perfect. You are more beautiful than anyone else in this world, and that's saying something."

"You're just saying that because you're crazy about me."

"I'm just saying that because I love you." His warmth enveloped me with security and trust. "Are you sure about tonight because I can round up a date if you'd rather rest?"

I had to laugh; it was Embry to a fault. He kissed me once again, and he steadily moved me up the stairs as if I were sewn onto his body. No effort, no jabs about how heavy I was. He didn't break the kiss for even a second. There wasn't even that awkward moment when your bodies shift and the kiss falters. Utter perfection. It was kind of nice to date werewolves I thought to myself. At the top of the landing, I pulled back so slightly.

"You are going to come with me and probably demonstrate a lot of patience." He reached my doorway, and pressed me against it. "No one else allowed," I stipulated.

A very familiar voice sounded from inside my room.

"How's that working out for you?"

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A/N: Cliff hanger… *evil, maniacal laughter* Not really. I've been writing 5000 word chapters, and I'm trying to separate them into more manageable pieces. This was just a great break. Review if you have a minute, and let me know what you think. I love all reviews- even the ones that say "what are you thinking?" :)


	6. Chapter 6 And Then

**A/N: I can't really express how much I admire Stephanie Meyer for the characters she's created. It is such a challenge to characterize these guys and match their actions and words appropriately. I am in awe of the many fanfic authors who have done such seemingly effortless writing in the past. I never appreciated how difficult it actually is. Although I am loving every minute of it.**

**Timeline: Serenity is full-grown. I loved the review, "Sex at 6?" LOL. I'm going with the idea that she is as grown and mature and vastly more mentally capable than most 18 year olds. **

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Chapter 6

**And then…**

My heart stopped. Literally stopped. Froze right in mid-beat. The blood decided that it didn't need to move at all. Oxygen was no longer necessary since nothing was moving in my entire body- every blood cell and nerve ending were tight and panicked.

"Alice!" My eyes were widening by the second. I whipped my head around expecting every member of my family to start materializing from the corners and shadows in the room. "You can't see us. You can't see our decisions," I stuttered. This was for my benefit of course, not hers. "What in the world?"

"Serenity," How that tone drove me crazy when it was directed at me! Alice would drag out the first syllable of my name just a second too long and then follow the last three syllables just a little too fast. It meant 'just because I can't see you doesn't mean that I don't know everything that goes on here'.

I could never get away with that tone. Superiority only works for people who are used to being right.

"Not everything is supernatural. Some things are just very human," she sighed. "Embry, do you mind if I talk to my niece alone for a few minutes, please?"

My perfect weekend was going up in smoke. Somewhere there was a bomb ticking. I could just feel it.

Embry left with a quick look at Alice, and she waited until his steps were far enough away that he couldn't hear our conversation.

"What are you doing?" she asked as if I was standing on the top of a house with paper bags for wings swearing that I could fly across the Atlantic.

I fell apart. The emotions that Embry's very proximity created dissolved into vapor, and the adrenaline from the terror of getting so stupidly busted exploded. Every insecurity was magnified, and each defiance stormed to the front of my brain. I was incredibly angry that we were caught, horrified of what my family would say right now, and so confused by the intensity of my hormones all at the exact same time. But most of all, I had just lost the hours and hours of time I had wanted so desperately with Embry, and I was heartbroken. Petty immaturity took over, and I raged.

"I'm doing what any normal girl my age would do, I guess. Only I don't know what normal girls would do since there aren't any around. It's not like I have any friends that I can run any of this by, you know. There is a gorgeous guy out there who cares about me. I want that. What's wrong with having something you really want?" I got angrier by the second. Ugh! A tear leaked out of my right eye. Why did the tears have to come? It totally sucked that half-vamps get the crying and the runny nose part of being human. I'd happily give that up in a second. I wiped my eyes and nose on some tissue and just looked at her. If she was going to rat me out, there wasn't really anything I could do.

"How long has it been going on?" she questioned.

To tell, or not to tell? I figured honesty was the better choice with Alice. "He kissed me on my 6th birthday." Alice actually looked shocked with a slight dusting of amusement. So much for knowing everything that went on here. "Off and on ever since, so a little over a year."

Alice sighed.

"I'm assuming that Jacob withdrew the edict to leave you alone then, which is not surprising. I expected as much." This she said to herself rather than me. Obviously, I had already figured that out. She kept looking me over with a poker face which left me lost as to what was churning away under her designer hat. "How do you feel about him?"

How do you sum up the best part of your life? There is not a word in the English language that epitomizes the trust I've built up in Embry. No phrase encompasses his kindness and gentleness toward me. Webster has not yet coined the word that that explains how his presence is a balm to my tumultuous emotions. Amazing, dazzling, stunning? I remembered that these were Bella's words to describe Edward, and they didn't seem any more powerful describing Embry. It must these supernatural beings. Common language was so weak to use in a description of how much he meant to me.

"I love him. I mean, he hasn't imprinted, so I'm not his soul mate. But he makes me feel like it's all going to be okay. He's my best friend."

"He has quite a reputation for flitting among the female species. I'm not sure I want my niece getting mixed up with that."

"I know what he used to be like, but is that still him? Has he been encouraging anyone lately? Has he even dated anyone in the last year? Not that he can't because he's not exclusively mine, but he said he's not seeing anyone, and I believe him."

She gazed at me for a long time. The fact that she hadn't rebutted my statement most likely meant that I was right. Embry wasn't continuing to date anyone which unexpectedly made me feel insanely special.

"Are you sure about this? Have you really thought it over?" It was a fair question.

"I haven't decided 100% what I'm ready for. Embry knows that. He understands how I feel right now." I looked Alice straight in the eyes to emphasize my next statement. "I'm not a little girl. Time doesn't run the same for people like me and Renesmee the way it does for humans. There isn't a single cell in by body that is 7 years old by human standards. I can make my own decisions. I really need the members of this family to understand that."

She measured every word, searched between every line. Her continual gaze was starting to make me nervous, and I fidgeted accordingly. "Can you say something?" Another minute of silence. "Please, Alice?"

"If you repeat this, I'll deny it and turn on you viciously. Don't forget it."

My mind was whirling, and my eyebrows knotted together in bewilderment.

"I've never agreed with how your parents have raised you. You've been trapped here for almost 8 years with no friends at all, and I understand how that can be difficult. Renesmee had all the kids on the reservation to play with for a while, and Edward and Bella took her to spend time with many of our vampire friends. She spent a lot of time with the wolves, too." She paused and looked at me pointedly. "Apparently, that's something you both have in common." I blushed from the implication. "Rosalie and Emmett went from having a powerful physical relationship to one of anger and resentment that has grown over the years into blatant hostility. Your parents can't be in the same room for more than 10 minutes without making Jasper run for cover from their antagonism towards each other. I get a new vision everyday of one or the other deciding to either rip the other to shreds or jump them. They can't decide if they love or hate each other, and you're mixed up in the very thick of it. They can't be apart from each other, and they can't be apart from you. They're each trying to prove something to the other, but neither one knows what that is."

"And here I was thinking I was paranoid."

"They love _you, _though. They just have a lot of problems with each other." She sat still for a few moments trying to see the coming future. "Something's out there, I just can't see it yet, strong desires that will piece together once the right impetus comes along." She looked at me for a long time again. I really wished I could read her mind right now.

Alice stood and picked up her bag. "I'm going to New York. I hope you come later when you aren't so busy." She dragged that last word out for way too long.

"Geesh, Alice!" She just trilled her little laugh.

"Promise me that we'll have some girl time after we get back, just you and me, and we'll talk. I'm a great listener. I'll keep this to myself for as long as I can, but it won't stay a secret forever. I'm impressed that you've kept it this quiet for as long as you have, but it's going to come out sooner or later. You might want to have it come out on your terms instead of the other way around."

I was stunned.

"You're welcome, Serenity!" It was her catch phrase. She always knew how happy I'd be before I knew it myself. No sixth sense necessary.

"Thanks, Alice." I gave her a tight hug knowing how much I owed her. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," and she turned to leave.

"Hey, Alice,"

"Mmmm."

"How did you get in my room?"

"Window." I should have known.

"What do Mom and Esme think you're doing?"

"Recon on you. The official story is that you were hanging out in your room, which isn't too far from the truth. I suppose you will be soon enough." She paused at the doorway. "The fact that you're a beautiful, grown woman isn't lost on the members of this family. You need to keep that in mind." She blew me a quick kiss and sailed out the door.

I spent several minutes thinking over what she had said.

Embry waited until I had the time I needed before knocking on my door.

* * *

"Where's my favorite half-vampire?" Emmett's voice boomed throughout the house. I jumped out of my room, half from nerves and half from being glad that he was back. And I was _really_ glad that Embry left the house a few hours ago.

"Hey, Dad!"

"Get over here," and I walked straight into his arms.

"I'm so glad you're home," and I really was. "How was the hunting?" I looked up at him feeling like a protected little girl. That's the best thing about Dad, no matter what happened, I always felt safe in his arms. There wasn't a single Volturi that I was afraid of as long as I had my dad around.

"Not bad. The bears are preparing for hibernation, so they were fat and slow. Jasper had a great idea."

"We wrestled Killer Whales." Jasper grinned.

I looked back and forth between the two. Only they would do something so crazy.

I shook my head. "No, you didn't."

Dad nodded with a grin of pure mischievousness. "Oh, yes, we did."

Dad and Jasper were always doing nutty things like that.

For instance, vampires in general don't care for amusement parts. But not Dad and Jasper. They _love_ them. When I turned 4, Alice and Jasper gave me tickets to Cedar Point. Alice had seen that the day would be perfectly gray and dreary but without a drop of rain. Perfect for the entire family to watch me enjoy my first roller coaster rides. What I didn't know was that the main event was watching Jasper and Dad gross the humans out.

Bets were placed on how many humans each could make puke, and they were com-pe-ti-tive.

They went to all sorts of lengths to win, and they fought dirty.

A new rollercoaster had opened that year. The Devil's Tentacles. The coaster hit every angle possible at 95 mph and twisted and turned until your insides were mush. Dad and I were set to ride up in the front seat after a long wait in line. Dad kept complaining about his "lunch".

"Those hot dogs just aren't settling," Dad groaned, bending over slightly at the waist. "I shouldn't have added the Tobasco sauce. It's killing me!" Jasper and Alice was behind us waiting for the front seat; it is the best way to ride a coaster, of course. Alice started laughing drawing all sorts of attention. She obviously saw what my dad had decided to do. Jasper stared, but Alice didn't give her vision away. The other people edged further away from Dad, but the metal dividers would only allow so much space.

"I think the nacho cheese was rancid. Did you have the nachos?" I started to respond, but he bent over gasping for breath.

"I think I've got food poisoning. Awe, man, this is going to suck." He actually gagged. Dad should have been in show business.

The rollercoaster arrived, and the previous occupants exited to the right. We started to climb in.

"Oh, hang on! Don't move so fast. I'm not feeling good!" Dad's loud voice could be heard by every person on the landing. There were definitely several sighs of relief that he was getting on the ride and would be gone in a minute.

The ride was great. I'm fast, but the thrill of the ride was still exhilarating. It started off at a 0-60 drop from the platform. Then the loops and twists started. At one point, I couldn't tell which way was up which is something considering my adept physical skills. I could see the turn up ahead. The coaster veered to the left before making a downward slope towards the water.

At the exact moment before the coaster hits the curve, Dad bellows, "I think I'm going to be sick!" and he turns his head away from me, towards the back cars, and proceeds to blow chunks. He had unknowingly to anyone but Alice drunk 2 full cups of Dr. Pepper and had swallowed a well-chewed up hotdog just before getting in line. He coughed it up spectacularly spraying it back over the people who were drug through the contents by the course of the rollercoaster.

Dad just laughed and laughed as the people started moaning from the combination of the ride and the "vomit" that was now embedded in their hair and eyelashes. As the cars slowed and the humans staggered out of the cars, two of them rushed to the side and threw up their lunches. That provided a chain reaction, and if you counted the one who puked on the coaster, Dad racked up an impressive 6 tallies. Jasper only ended up with 2.

I was mortified.

I rode the rest of my rides with Alice pretending that I didn't know the hulking dark-haired guy following me around.

I laugh now, though. What can I say? That's just Dad, and he sure makes everything interesting.

* * *

After Dad and Jasper settled in, we checked out some of the preseason football games and analyzed the strengths and weaknesses of the various teams. Afterwards, we played a massive game of checkers involving six boards, a third color of game piece, and 17 additional vampire-created rules. He could keep up a steady stream of trash talk to rival backstreet basketball games, but he made me laugh; it was my favorite part about him.

After the quality dad-time, I flew commercially to New York to meet up with my mom, Esme, and Alice. They had flown our private jet to New York instead of public airlines. Carlisle spent an increasingly immense amount of time traveling back and forth from Europe, so he decided it was best to invest in an airplane. He and Rosalie obtained their pilot license and now flew us almost anywhere we needed to go. The only time we used commercial airlines was when the plane was occupied.

Mom and Esme were glad to see that I made it for the culmination of Fashion Week. Accessories were what everyone was focused on for fall, and they enjoyed showing me what they were planning to order once the designs hit the stores. Alice never let on for a second that anything might be unusual in our world. She took me to a tiny restaurant, Locanda Verde, on Greenwich Street for Italian food and just sat there looking at me, giving me the chance to share. She raised her eyes, propped her head on her clasped fingers and leaned forward slightly awaiting my description of the weekend.

I decided to just get what she really wanted to know out first.

"We didn't… do… that."

Silence. She didn't bat a lash.

"I mean, I wouldn't have wanted anyone there. It was still intimate, but..." I was blushing scarlet. Who would have ever thought I'd be having this conversation?

She took that in as if she knew exactly what happened.

"I think I realized that I love him but not that way exactly. He's definitely my best friend, and," pause, "a really good kisser." I grinned.

She matched my smile, and the veneer cracked.

"It's not like I've kissed anyone else, so there's no comparison, but I can't imagine feeling more on top of the world than that. Course, he's had plenty of practice." I rolled my eyes. "We mostly just cuddled and watched a couple of movies."

Her eyebrows raised an infinitesimal amount.

"Okay, so we didn't actually watch much of the movies; we pretty much talked, a lot," I couldn't help but smile and let out a small chuckle, "for more than 7 minutes at a time at least. It felt so good to just relax and not have to worry about one of you catching our scent or hearing me rant about something." I took a deep inhalation, held it, and slowly let it out. It felt like dropping a pile of books you've been carrying around for a very long time. The relief was almost tangible. I took a bite of my Arugula Salad and tried to read the thoughts that danced behind Alice's amused expression.

"What did Embry have to say about waiting?" she finally asked.

"He understood. I think he knew all along. That whole imprinting thing freaks him out. He sees how easy it is to fall in love with somebody like Sam did and then get hit with an imprint and have to walk away. Even though you hate hurting the person you're in love with, the imprint's so strong that you can't help it. He doesn't want to do that to me."

"But it's too late, you said yourself that you loved him."

"I do. It's just, how do I explain." I sorted through my thoughts and tried to organize them so I didn't ramble through this.

"Embry's dad was never a part of his life, so he has issues with commitment. He believes that if you make a commitment, then you keep it no matter what. I know he's been the local Romeo, but he hasn't instigated any serious relationships with any of those girls. They haven't exactly been looking for love themselves. I think he purposely keeps from getting serious with anyone just in case the next girl he sees is _the one_. It's stressful for him not knowing when it's going to happen. The last thing he wants is to let someone fall in love with him and then walk out on them like his dad did to him."

"But you already love him. How is that different?"

"Because I know what he is. I mean, come on, Alice. 'FYI, I'm a huge wolf, and I might fall so madly in love with the next random stranger who walks by that I never see your face again' doesn't exactly start a meaningful conversation. I understand what might happen. I love him for who he is, for what he's already been to me- not for what he can offer me in the future."

"How do you think you'll feel if he imprints tomorrow?"

"I don't know. It will hurt, but I know it's a possibility. I guess that's the biggest reason why I hesitated this past weekend, and why he didn't pressure me into anything. He knows what might happen, and he's protecting me from it the way Sam couldn't protect Leah."

"So, friends with benefits?"

The look of disdain that I gave her was enough to whither mother nature.

"Okay, just really good friends, then?"

"Better."

"Serenity, Serenity, Serenity. Are you going back to stealing a few minutes here and there again?"

I sighed a very Alice-esque sigh and looked away. She was right. There wasn't any going backwards. I needed Embry as a publically accepted part of my life, and my family needed to know this.

"Is there any way to give him enough of a head start? Maybe he can get back to the reservation before my parents can catch him and skin him alive." Alice giggled almost nervously for her. I probably wasn't far off in my assessment of my parents' reactions. "Try to see how they'll take the news." I took a deep breath. "I've decided. I'll tell them after I talk to Embry when we get back."

"I can't see your decisions, but you know that."

"I want you to try to see past my decision the way you've been stretching yourself for the past few years. Try to see the decision of a decision. If my parents find out, what will _they_ decide?"

Alice sat very still for a long time before she spoke- eyes focused on the future. It was a look that my family had memorized although passerbys would simply think she was daydreaming. "I can't see anything, but I don't really need a sixth sense for this. Tell Rosalie and Emmett that their daughter is in love with Jacob's beta without the imprint? We might need to wait for a serious storm to mask the fight that's probably going to ensue. I think I'd rather tell Jasper that I'm joining the Volturi guard this Christmas."

**Two Weeks Later:**

Alice does not exaggerate. When she says it's going to be bad, it's bad.

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A/N: I hope you like it so far. I'm starting to feel like I'm actually writing for an audience. :) For those who have added my story to your updates, thank you so much! It makes my day. So do reviews. They pop up on my phone and are like sweet little desserts all day long. *blushing* I actually wake up, and the first thing I do is see if I have any reviews in the morning. I can't help it. Love you guys for reading!


	7. Chapter 7 Then There Was One

**A/N: Steph's world is amazing. I'm so thrilled she lets us lessers poke around in it. I wanted to shout out to a fabulous story that I read the other day on . **

**Secret Agent Emmett by XD **

**If you love Emmett, you'll love this. I had to read it a couple of times to really "get" it. But once I did, I just laughed and laughed. I wish I had thought of it. :) **

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Chapter 7

**And Then There Was One**

"What in the hell were you thinking by letting your pack have access to my daughter! We trusted you and the Alpha crap to keep the dogs away from Serenity! Is this your idea of settling scores?"

Jacob stood up, soaking wet, having ended up in the lake that sat about 70 yards from the back of the house. Emmett stood at the bank seething and grinding his teeth together so tightly, it was amazing that they didn't crack from the pressure. He had just stormed out from the forest, picked Jacob up from the lounge chair under the veranda, and hurled him into the lake where the force of the splash sent a wave of water about 20 feet over the edge. Fish were flopping on the grassy area to the left of the pond in the cool autumn air.

"Are you crazy! Geez, Emmett, chill out!" Renesmee pushed him away so that Jacob could walk back up to the yard.

"Stay out of this Renesmee." Rosalie's voice cut through the crowd that was trying first to understand exactly what was happening and then trying to decide how to diffuse the situation. "And Jasper, I swear that if you don't stop trying to calm me down, I'm going to toss you in after him.

"I don't think so." Alice stepped up to the front line. Threatening Jasper didn't go over very well with her.

"Rose! She's just worried about Jake! What's going on here?" Bella stared incredulously at the events and back at the cause.

Me, of course. Who else?

Information was swirling around like a tornado had swept through our heads taking all the thoughts we'd been so careful to conceal and tossing them out for one very talented mind-reading vampire. Edward detailed it most succinctly.

"Serenity and Embry have been spending time together, and it's more than just friends including the weekend when we were in Forks. This has been going on for a long time, since she turned six. Jacob reneged on his Alpha edict that forbade Seth or Embry from expressing any interest in her, and Embry didn't waste any time since he had been noticing her for a few months before she turned. Alice has known about this and even conspired to help them be together. Carlisle and Esme both suspected the relationship, and Emmett and Rosalie are rather upset by the idea that their daughter loves a wolf. They blame Jacob, and Emmett wants to finish the fight that Jacob started when they first brought Serenity home."

"Dude, you really don't want to do that." Jacob shook the water from his head as Renesmee stood behind him shooting daggers at Emmett and Rosalie. She had clearly picked her side. Jacob was trembling with anger, but he managed to keep everything under control for the moment.

Emmett narrowed his eyes, and his tone was lethal and terrifying, "Yah, I really think I do, and I'll deal with anyone else who takes his side in this!"

Carlisle stepped between them trying to talk to Emmett while Edward was telling Jacob to calm down. There were quickly two groups, us and them. Them being Edward, Bella, Jacob, Renesmee, Alice, Jasper, and Seth. Us being everyone else.

"You're such an ass, Emmett. Jacob's not the one doing your daughter, moron, or can't you tell one from the other?" Renesmee certainly picked up Jacob's manner of speaking directly to the problem without taking shortcuts.

"Renesmee!" Bella's shocked rebuke was lost in the continued fight.

Carlisle kept both hands on Emmett's chest edging him away from Jacob and back toward the house, but he would not be walked back. His gigantic frame towered above Carlisle as he continued his verbal assault on Jacob.

"This is your fault, you stupid mutt! You wanted this to happen. You can't take us on, so you target the weakest one here?"

"I've been waiting for a long time for this." Rosalie's voice was horrifyingly calm. She had the lack of remorse of a serial killer.

Jacob was ready. "You're both so screwed up," he yelled back. Stabbing his finger at me he spat, "You're not even mad at them! What are you going to do? Kill me and make Nessie a widow for eternity?"

"You can live without a leg," Rosalie threatened.

"This is insane!" I screamed trying to refocus everyone's attention on me. "I am going to be the very death of this coven if you don't get a grip! Now!" My parents had always reminded me of tantrum throwing four-year-old human children when they got this upset. Their fury didn't cloud their judgment; it blanketed it in complete darkness. While they were this furious, almost nothing could cut into their minds. I walked in front of Jacob, and despite that I had feared and detested him since my birth, I forced my presence into my parents' line of sight in order to refocus their anger from Jacob to me.

"Get a grip! You're acting like lunatics! Both of you!"

"Ser…" Mom began.

"No! I am the one talking here, and you're going to listen! For once, this isn't going to be about you!" I think the sheer audacity of my tone mixed in with the blatant disrespect of my words caught them off-guard. I didn't usually speak my mind. I wanted to keep it simple, so I started a list.

"One. You are not going to touch Jacob or dismember any part of his body! Two. Get a grip. I chose this—not Jacob, not Embry, me. I wanted this, and I do not regret one second of it. Even Edward was more level-headed when he found out that Jacob and Nessie were sleeping together, and that's saying something! Three. Embry is my best friend. You can learn to accept it…"

"I will not accept it. You're too young, and he's not good enough for you." My mother just couldn't keep her mouth closed at all.

"Then that brings me to four. We're leaving if you can't handle it."

Mom wouldn't relent. "There is no 'we' here! You will not spend another second with that dog!"

"Rose, please just listen to her. She's taken a huge chance telling you about this. The least you can do is hear her out." Even Esme's gentleness wasn't enough to soothe my mother.

"I will not spend another night in this house if my daughter is still in _any_ type of relationship with _him_. I want that dog sent back to La Push _permanently_." She turned back to Jacob, "You will send him home, or I swear you'll wake up with every bone in your legs broken."

"Oh, Blondie, do you really think I'm scared of you? That I'm going to do whatever you order me to do? You don't make the rules around here, and I'm not a real big fan of rules anyway." Jacob antagonized.

"Jacob, maybe you could send him back for a while. Let everyone calm down and think through this." Bella was the only one, besides Renesmee, who could talk Jacob into doing what he didn't care to do.

"If you send Embry away, then I'm gone. I'll leave tonight." I wasn't sure where I would go. I couldn't go with Embry if he was ordered back. Forks was the one place I couldn't go. The treaty was void. I didn't think the wolves would hold me punishable for my parents' actions, but I couldn't take that chance. My entire family was no longer welcome there with the exception of Edward, Bella, and Renesmee.

The ultimatums were piling up and the tension was continuing to deepen.

"You're not going anywhere. If I have to watch you 24/7, I'll do it." Mom warned, but she met her match.

"Then get ready, because I'm dead serious." I met her gaze and didn't waver in the slightest. I even refused to blink just to prove my point. The entire family stood there. Alice was trying to see what decisions were being made and how this was all going to be resolved, but I could tell by her silence that her inability to see me made it impossible. "You'll have to lock me up the same way you locked up my mother won't you? Take away my freedom. Control every word I speak, every person I see, every place I go? I suppose you'd enjoy that. Give you a sense of domination because everything has been out of your control for years. Exactly how long will you imprison me? The same length of time you locked up Kaitlyn? Or, will it be even sweeter since I'm going to live forever? An eternity of dictating my life?"

It was cruel, and I could see the pain cross her face. Everyone was stunned into silence. Even Jacob's mouth hung open. He had a history of stinging jabs with my parents, but even he would probably never have stooped that low.

"How could you say that to me?" Mom whispered.

"Because I am not a child anymore. I can make my own choices, and I don't have to conference with the entire coven every time I do. You need to accept that I'm grown. I can make my decisions for my life, my own mistakes…"

"You're certainly making enough of those right now." Mom's golden eyes were blazing with indignation that anyone was standing up to her after years of tip-toeing around her anger and bitterness.

"Embry is not a mistake." I walked over to him to grasp his hand. Dad looked ready to explode, but Carlisle held him steady. "You need to understand that he was my choice. Whether you can accept it or not, he's mine."

"Until he imprints. Then he's somebody else's. What are you going to do then?" Carlisle inquired. He wasn't angry, but it was a valid point that I was ready for. Alice was too.

"She'll do what anyone else would do who falls in love with someone who can't return it. She'll cry, she'll get angry, she'll cry some more, and then she'll get over it and, hopefully, grow and learn from it." Alice came to my side and stood ready to defend my right to live my life my way. "Humans love people all the time even if they aren't going to spend their entire lives together. She hasn't made the horrendous mistake that you seem to think she has. There has been nothing rash in her decisions."

"I can't believe you knew and didn't tell me." Alice looked down slightly at Mom's words. "I can't forgive that." Rosalie turned to go back into the house, and then stopped, and spoke away from the group. "If Serenity doesn't need this family anymore, then she's welcome to do what she feels that she needs to do, but I will not spend another night under this roof as long as the dog's within a hundred miles. I'll pack and leave. I'm tired of the stench anyway," and she left.

Dad glared at Edward and Jacob. "I agree with Rose. If Embry's still here in the morning, I'm leaving. I will not watch my daughter with the dog. I'm not sure I want to stay at all. Every one of you knew about this, and you let it go on not caring how we would feel about it." Dad looked to Carlisle. "After all the crap the wolves have put our family through, you know something's going on, and you don't say anything?"

"Emmett, those choices involved you, Rosalie, and the pack. They aren't related to what happened with Serenity and Embry. You're letting your anger with Jacob affect how you see this. I can understand why you aren't happy with their relationship, but what about Serenity's say in the matter?"

"Emmett, Rosalie, please don't leave. I can't stand to see our family split this way." Esme pleaded to Emmett and Rosalie's retreating back. "Let's talk this out."

Rosalie didn't speak loudly from the balcony above the stairs, but she was heard perfectly well. "I'm tired of talking, Esme. Maybe I can't look at this objectively. The history between the wolves and me is too negative to accept this relationship. I'm sorry."

Alice sighed and refocused on our faces. "They've decided to leave."

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Embry closed the door to my room after Mom and Dad left and sat quietly on the foot of my bed. He looked into my eyes for the longest time without saying a word. He slid closer to me, reached his hand around the back of my neck, and leaned in to place his forehead on mine. He wrapped his arms around my body and held me against his warm body for minutes. I could sense that the entire house was silent, but I also knew that apart from my parents, everyone was still downstairs. The only sound was my shallow breathing like when you're terrified of what might happen any second. A tear slid down my cheek as I felt what he was trying to say.

"You're going back to La Push." There was no need to question, I knew it.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Say it."

"I'm destroying your family."

More tears started flowing down my cheeks. "I'm losing everyone. Why do I have to choose between my happiness and everyone else's?"

"You don't. You do what is right for you. Serenity," he breathed, "I love you, but you know what could happen any minute. You were leaving in January for college anyway."

"We were leaving." I corrected him. My heart felt like it was shattering into a thousand pieces. Bits kept dislocating and falling into this abyss that was growing in the center of my being. It was a black hole sucking in every hope and possibility that came to mind until I was left with the awful truth of our situation.

I reached around and grasped him as hard as I could trying to hold on to him. I would have if it could have changed things.

I had asked myself a million times why he never imprinted on me. What was different about me? Why was I wrong for him? What made me unfit to be loved supernaturally by this amazing person? At that moment of utter hopelessness, I had my reason. After all of my heart that belonged to Embry had broken and crumbled into dust, there remained a tiny piece of my heart that didn't shatter. It held solid in the very center of my chest unaffected by the pain that was stabbing every other organ in my body.

That tiny piece was meant for someone else. I knew it. It was never an issue of "Why was I wrong for Embry"; it was actually "Why was Embry wrong for me". The rest of my heart would heal, eventually, but that seemed a long time in coming. Whatever Fates were orchestrating our lives, they actually were doing the right thing here. It didn't mean that I had to like it.

"I may wait for 90 years like Edward waited for Bella. You might wait that long too. I don't know what's going to happen. I just know that going back to La Push is the best thing for everyone right now."

"You're my best friend, Embry." I sounded like a child, my voice soft and high-pitched, but I couldn't help it.

"And you're the only girl I've ever loved, Serenity. You're special. Everyone is going to see that some day." He kissed me gently one last time and walked out of my room. I saw him a moment later behind the house from my upstairs window. He gave me a last look and phased. With tears running from his eyes, he turned and headed west.

I sat on my bed and cried until Alice came. She sat down next to me and held my hand. She would have cried with me if she could.

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A/N: Sigh. Don't hate me. I know there were a few wolfies out there. :( Let me know if you're mad, upset, glad, anything. I love to hear from you.


	8. Chapter 8 Something New

**A/N: Thank you, thank you for the reviews! You are all so wonderful. You are keeping me on my toes trying to stay as true as possible to SM's work. **

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Chapter 8

**Something New**

The tears ended eventually after two weeks of solitude, 22 missed meals, 7 forced meals, 43 angry looks, 8 cursing episodes, and 1 huge temper tantrum of my very own.

Mom and Dad didn't stay away long. Misery loves company, and so their presence graced our family quite soon after Embry's departure. Pleased that there was at least one less wolf in smelling distance, Mom especially felt she had won a major victory. She had no idea that the insecure and generally complacent child she had raised could have adopted a stubborn side to rival hers. Furthermore, nobody in my family realized that while they were hunting, I had packed everything I needed to leave for college early. I was already accepted into Girton College at the University of Cambridge, and I planned to leave that afternoon.

I would fly into Dublin, Ireland and spend a few weeks with Siobhan's coven prior to beginning the Michaelmas term at school. It was one of the few covens I had met while on a brief vacation with Carlisle and Esme a year ago. Maggie and I formed an instant friendship, and Siobhan extended an open invitation to visit. I figured it would take at least an ocean to create the barrier I needed from my family. Thank goodness cell phones can be turned off.

Of course the whole family was going to go with me.

Of course it would be best to be together.

Of course I had never been alone for two straight days in my life.

Of course I didn't know how to take care of myself.

Of course we needed Alice's visions to make sure that everything would be okay.

Of course _not!_

And that's when my spectacular temper tantrum took place. I think I even earned Edward's approval with the utter destruction of the staircase. I threatened to disappear into the Atlantic Ocean or hide in some remote corner of the western hemisphere living on canned peas until 2033 if they placed one foot in Europe. Since I was an invisible speck to them, and it would probably take them that long to find me, they very reluctantly agreed to give me some space.

Six hours later, I was sitting first class en route. The flight was exactly what I needed to sort through my thoughts and emotions that had swirled in an angry squall ever since Embry left.

I was angry with him for leaving. I needed him right now, and he left me. I might have understood his reasons, but they didn't compensate for his actions. At times I was so furious that I would have driven to Forks to personally tell him how much of a jerk he was. But then I would remember how much I actually loved him and would sink into a depression that colored my world gray, actually seeming to dim the hues into the monochromatic palette of overcast skies. He texted me everyday telling me how sorry he was. All I could respond was that I knew, and I understood.

I understood, but I hated it.

Despondence washed over me every time I thought of my family. I knew the bipolar state of my parent's relationship was not my fault. It wasn't my actions that led to the divisions that existed. My head acknowledged this fact easily, but my heart couldn't accept it at all. My mind would reassure myself that it wasn't me, but this demonic entity would whisper, 'but if it weren't for you…' and I would automatically fill in the blank. Why couldn't I separate myself from my parents' issues? Why did I always blame me when they couldn't function? It made no sense, and unfortunately there were no vampire therapists in existence.

I was fearful about what was ahead for me, terrified at times. I put up the bravest front that I could, and even though Jasper couldn't actually feel me, he knew enough about emotions to recognize my expressions lately combined with my heightened heartbeat and panicked breathing. There was no doubt in my mind that he would communicate this to Alice and the rest of the family. I also had no doubt that some of them would make the trip to Europe despite my threat just to check in on me. Oddly enough, it was reassuring that I wouldn't be completely alone although I knew I would never see them, hear them, or catch the slightest scent. They were all too good to get caught.

Deep beneath the fear rested my solid ground, independence. I finally could make my own decisions and live my life how I deemed appropriate. I wondered if all humans felt as I did as they made that initial break from their family. It was almost euphoric and dizzying to be fully apart from the people who sheltered and provided for you throughout your developing years.

I was at a disadvantage in that I had no idea how to relate to humans apart from the sales representatives of the stores I frequented. The rest of my knowledge of the human species was gleaned from television. I was a reality show junkie, just one more commonality with Alice, yet this didn't seem to be demonstrative of humanity at large. I had watched the Discovery Health Channel religiously for the last 6 months observing the family dynamics portrayed, but how can a family be themselves with a camera following every step they take? The next few weeks would be trial by fire. Either I'd make it or I wouldn't. I couldn't see any middle ground.

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The white blanket of cumulous clouds rose above the plane and the expanse of ocean revealed itself for the first time since leaving Concord. My eyes could catch the dolphins that cavorted beneath the waves. They discerned the huge darkness of a whale on a late migration south that the rest of my fellow travelers would never have seen. The rocky coast of the Isles passed beneath me and the beauty of Ireland spread out far and wide. My excitement rose. I was really here. This wasn't a daydream in my forest glade. This was so very real. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the land that would soon be my new playground without parents to say do or don't.

I was enraptured by the beauty of the country as I drove up to the Northwestern Mountains where the coven lived. Although they primarily hunted humans, they had maintained a permanent residence in the remote area of the Derryveagh Mountain Range. The mountains were quartzite peaks that had once been huge- Himalayan sized. The ice age of 10,000 years ago birthed glaciers that scraped the mountains down to their present day size. These glaciers melted in the middle and southern area of the island and created fertile agricultural ground there. However, the glaciers had melted more slowly toward the north forming drumlins which effectively dissuaded much of the Irish population from cultivating the area. There was little to no soil, and although this created breathtaking views, it was not conducive to human settlement.

As I drove, the roads twisted and curved around the mountains that stood at attention over the flat valleys between. There were rivers snaking throughout the land providing a beautiful contrast to the greenery all around. Although much of the vegetation was preparing to sleep through the winter, it still seemed so colorful and vibrant. Fields of violet heather created a patchwork over the entire northern landscape—the scent reaching in through the windows to calm and soothe my apprehension. There were lakes and waterways that formed a picturesque image that I had not forgotten in the year since I'd last been here. Red deer peered at my car as I drove along, and Peregrine falcons patrolled the skies above shrieking my arrival to the world.

Castles hid in remote corners of the land sneaking up on you as you moved northward. Nestled on the sides of mountains or sitting regally on the tops of hills, they were a testament to the rich history that Ireland boasted having roots well into the fabric of time. There was a peace in this countryside that innovation had not yet molested. The country revolved around something other than deadlines or project proposals, and that something added a mystery, a stateliness to the atmosphere.

As I neared the mountains, the salty seas crept into the fresh mountain air so faintly that only vampires could detect it. The Irish coven's home had a view of the ocean that I loved. I looked forward to the sounds of the crashing surf for the next couple of weeks. I finally arrived after a very long drive up the dirt road that discouraged anyone from entering unless you knew of the destination. The coven's home was small by my family's standards, but it captured the tone and sense of the mountainous surroundings perfectly. I fell in love with it all over again. The door opened. Vampires never needed a knock to announce your arrival.

"Aiye, Serenity! Yer don't luk a bit different. Still as bonny as ever. Maggie, Siohban! Luk who's finally 'ere ter visit!" Liam called out as Maggie bounced under his arm and out on the step to squeeze me around my waist. Siohban appeared a moment later squeezing me in turn.

"We were so happy when Carlisle called to let us know you'd be visiting. How've you been?" Siohban was so comfortable. Her presence relaxed you immediately.

"I'm so glad to be here. I love Ireland. I can see why you never leave."

"'Tis our huum ter be true. Cuum in an' put yisser things away." Liam's speech was steeped in the Irish dialect. Sometimes I needed a translation despite the fact that we spoke the same language.

"Get in here!" Maggie grabbed every suitcase and had them up in the loft before I even stepped in the door.

It was immediately home.

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"I just can't believe that you and Embry…" Maggie shook her head half in disgust and half in amazement at my actions; her red curls making the motion much larger.

"We didn't actually…"

"Still…"

"You're a vampire. Of course you don't understand." I rolled my eyes for the third time since our conversation began.

"He smells wretched, he's covered in fur, he could rip you to shreds, what's not to love?" she retorted sarcastically.

I had to laugh. Maggie would never get it, and she couldn't stand it.

"I hated to be near any of them the last time we were in America. The stench positively saturates your house. How can you _not_ smell it?"

If it weren't for the crimson irises, I would swear that Maggie was any normal teenage girl begging for details of a lascivious relationship that she herself would never explore but couldn't help but be fascinated by.

"For the last time! He doesn't smell bad _to me_. He isn't dangerous _to me."_

She just shook her head in that Maggie fashion. "I'm just never going to get it."

"Yah, you're number 35 on that list." I could feel that Embry-specific depression tugging on my heart. This was a conversation that I really didn't want to keep having. "What have you been doing since last year?"

"Not a lot. Liam's tied to this place, and honestly, I don't mind. I love it here. I can just about do anything I want. There's nobody around."

"Isn't that because you drink everyone who comes near?" I said with a tiny smile in my eyes.

"These mountains are treacherous and deadly. You can't blame us for the unusually high disappearance rate. It's _impossible_ to find the bodies that end up in the crevices at the foot of the mountains buried by tons of rock or washed out to the ocean from the resulting accidents." Her innocence was completely believable. Except that I knew better.

"Doesn't your own lying irritate you at all?" I wasn't mad. I knew that Maggie's family had been playing with a vegetarian diet for years, but like most of her kind, it was not something they kept up for any length of time. They were exceedingly prudent, surprisingly so, about their hunting habits. It was true that anyone who got too close to their home ended up hundreds of feet below sea level, but it wasn't their M.O. They hunted across Europe and only as often as necessary. Siohban's massive form belied her restraint as a vampire.

She smiled and challenged me to a game of chess.

This was exactly what I needed between my personal angst and the next few years of my life. Peace and relative solitude. I swam in the ocean and slept a lot. I enjoyed the silent mornings save for the gulls and insects scuttling around the mountain top. By any other standards, it would have been the most boring two weeks of my existence. I, however, loved having nothing to worry or even think about.

Except Embry of course. I could keep my memories of our year-long relationship pushed back far in my mind except when I laid down to sleep. Maggie, Siobhan, and Liam didn't make a sound while I was resting, and that was the only time I allowed myself to grieve for him. I would lay with my head on my pillow staring at the cracks in the ceiling beams above me while tears silently fell to the sheet. If my hosts knew of my hurt, they never mentioned it.

There was a more physical downside to the time away. Siobhan and Liam's home was so remote that food was almost nonexistent. There were some fruits and nuts stubbornly clinging to their branches, but apart from the boxed items I had brought with me, there was nothing to eat. Normally, this wouldn't have fazed me a bit, but my hosts were a little less sure.

"There's a ton of deer out in the valleys, Serenity. We'll go right now." Maggie was always moving. It amazed me that she enjoyed this reclusive lifestyle so much. "You've got to eat."

"I have food. I'm fine."

"Not even Renesmee eats that stuff. Why won't you hunt?"

"I just don't like hunting. The food's not that bad. It all tastes about the same anyway." I put my best sincerity into my voice knowing that it was really useless against Maggie's power. Fortunately, I was telling the truth. "I promise that I'm fine. If I want something else, we'll just take a day trip and find a restaurant. I can't leave Ireland without having some shepherd's pie can I?"

Maggie and Siobhan team-tagged this one. "Carlisle would never forgive us if we let you starve yourself. Surely there's something you can buy that won't spoil in the next few days," Siobhan asked.

"I've got protein bars packed away still. Please don't worry about me. I'm fine.

Siobhan looked doubtful, but one look at Maggie confirmed that I was indeed fine with the food situation. "Alright, Liam and I are leaving."

"Not without me, you're not!" A deep voice cut through the conversation, and we all spun around in surprise. Emmett Cullen was walking up the path downwind from us taking Siobhan, Liam, and Maggie by surprise.

"Dad!" I exclaimed. "You promised not to check on me!"

"Duh, I'm on official Cullen business. Although, I did bring you a suitcase of peas in case you decided to crawl into a hole for the next 5 years. It's in the car at the bottom of the hill."

The Irish coven looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"You didn't?" I started to smile unable to prevent the muscles from forming a grin. Only Emmett Cullen would bring me peas to go in hiding.

"Oh, yah I did. Chowder peas, green peas, black-eyed peas, peas and carrots, butter peas, if it's in a can, I've got it. 49 cans. I had 50 but Jacob pissed me off when I was leaving, so I nailed him in the back of the head with a can of snow peas. I owed him for your mom from a long time ago. Although, it mostly ended up all over Bella when the can exploded which was pretty hilarious. I owed her one, too." He chuckled from the memory.

I just shook my head and giggled. It was classic Dad. "Are you and Mom speaking again?"

"Speaking isn't exactly our strongest form of communication."

"Yuck! No kid wants that much information!" At least they were in an upswing moment even if I did not want the details.

He laughed and laughed along with everyone else. "You asked kiddo."

Siobhan walked up to me and enveloped me in her arms. "You'll have left before we get back, so I hope you have a great term, Serenity." Siobhan hugged me warmly despite her icy form. "We've loved having you. Please come back during Easter break if you can. It's always nice to have company such as yourself. I expect we'll be seeing Carlisle before too long. He does like to see after his family." She pulled me away from her and looked me straight in the eyes. "You did the right thing, you know. For you, it was a good decision. Your family understands that."

Dad snorted his disagreement but otherwise kept his opinions to himself.

My eyes smarted, and I thought I might cry, but Liam walked from behind the small house and called out, "Guud grief, doll, let 'er be. She's aboyt ter start cryin' an' it'll be al' yisser fault." I didn't understand a word that he said, but he kissed me on both cheeks and headed toward the coast- his way of saying goodbye and good luck.

* * *

The last few days in Ireland were spent traipsing over the countryside. Maggie was determined to expose me to every bit of history that could be found. She was a native to the country and took great pride in her history.

We visited the small village located just a few-hour's drive to the northeast corner of Ireland where she was born. I had once asked my grandfather about the Irish coven's history. My family could have given me every detail I sought, but they believed in letting people tell their own stories.

"I was born in 1835. The potato famine struck in the mid 1840s, but wasn't a huge problem until closer to the end of the decade. Hundreds of thousands were dying from starvation. I was 19 when my family decided to send me and my younger brother south to work for food. We were to steal it if necessary. I looked much younger than my age, the result of malnutrition we know now, so I could earn sympathy because I looked so pitiful. I had six siblings, and we all went out trying desperately to find something to eat. What we didn't know at the time was that a particularly large group of vampires had come to Ireland from Scandinavia. The human histories attribute the population decline to the potato blight, which is entirely accurate, but what their histories didn't understand was that natural disasters are a vampire's feast. They literally gluttonize themselves on humans because they can do it without detection. The deaths are always ascribed to the tragedy, and the supernatural goes undetected."

We walked down the small town road which still had bridges and pathways and even a monastery that had weathered the famine of the late 1840s. We paused outside the monastery. "My brother died of natural causes because of the famine. I left him here with the other dead that were to be buried. I was devastated. I wandered around in a trance for hours. During the night after my brother's death I was sleeping in the street when a group of men started fighting. They were drunk, and they beat each other to a bloody pulp over a flagon of beer. I ended up getting stepped on and pushed against the rough wooden post I had been propped against. It ripped into my back. You can guess that a couple of vampires happened to be close by when they smelled the blood and attacked. They carried us off- myself as well. They drank the men first, probably because they were already dripping blood. They bit me last and started to drain me. I can only guess that we weren't their first meal that evening because they didn't drain all of my blood. I'm sure they thought I was dead or close enough to it. I was thrown with all the others into a bog on the highlands. The other bodies sank to the bottom. There wasn't a soul around; people stayed away from the area in those says thinking they were haunted by folk creatures." Maggie led me to what had once been the very highlands she was describing. It was now grazing land for sheep and goats.

"I don't know how I did it, but I clawed my way to the edge where I could stay out from the center's suction. There happened to be a log that had fallen over the bog, and I grasped it for all my life. The fire burned away; I had been bitten in only one wrist, so the change began a little more slowly than usual. Combine that with my paralyzing fear which left me mute, it must have been why the other vampires were gone before the fire caused me to start screaming." We stopped at a particularly low point in the meadow, mere meters from the edge of the property where an ancient tree stood.

"I woke up thirsty beyond measure, and the famine served my needs well. I don't know who changed me. I never ran into any other vampires, but the death tolls were so great due to the blight that the Volturi never investigated. I swam the channel and spent some time in France and Spain. I mostly hid in caves and forests hunting whoever came near. I followed my creator's example and disposed of the bodies well thus remaining shrouded from the Volturi's attention. My habit of hiding helped as well. It was years before I ventured out into the sunlight. I knew what I was and had heard warnings enough. My strength proved that I would not easily be killed, but I was terrified of the sun. Siobhan found me in the Pyrenees Mountains. I've been with her and Liam ever since. She explained the law and adopted me as a daughter."

"Did you ever find your family?"

"No. I never looked for them. I was afraid that I would kill them, so I kept my distance. So many people died or fled the country, so it was unlikely that I would find them, but I still didn't want to take the chance. It's much harder to control ourselves when we regularly feed on human blood." She shrugged. "It was better that way."

"Do you think you'll always hunt humans? I know how much you've tried to change your eating habits."

"Liam says things are changing in our world. My coven has always hunted sparingly, yet it still seems too much. There's a fear that starting to creep into our world—the fear of being caught, or tracked. The humans have many tools at their disposal and crimes are not so easy to stage. Disappearances are becoming more and more dangerous. Vampires tend to have favorite ways to hunt and hide their dead, and they repeat this often. If humans can connect these dots, it means huge problems for our kind."

"What is the most difficult part of hunting animals?"

"The taste is unappetizing, but it's not impossible to handle. I suppose the most difficult part is summoning the will to commit. We don't have it exactly. We all respect your family's lifestyle, but we just can't seem to stay with that method of survival. Although… who knows what might happen in the coming years."

I nodded my head in understanding. There were many in the vampire world just like Maggie and her family. It was the reality of the vampires' existence. People didn't blame the bear for spearing salmon as they made their swim back to their birth places. There was no condemnation on the spider that so cleverly captures its prey. Sharks are permitted their reign over the ocean waters. There is very little outrage over cattle or poultry farms. It's the pure simplicity of the food chain- the strongest predator rises to the top.

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A/N: Am I going too quickly? The story does start to slow down in a couple of chapters. I could go back and add Renesmee and Jake's wedding. Or the pack's response to the loop hole in the treaty. I could add some other "filler chapters" to bridge some of the time over the last 7 chapters. The story is about 43 ch according to my timeline at the moment. I don't know what's too long. Any ideas?


	9. Chapter 9 Dorm Life

**A/N: Stephanie's characters et al. I'm simply playing. Your move. I'm not crazy about this chapter, but I just finished ch. 12 and really enjoyed that one. I'm trying to work on my "funny". Lol. The Cullens definately come back into play. Not to worry. I love them all too much to ditch them. Rose and Emmett's daughter just needs some life experiences right now. :)**

**Enjoy!  
Hugs, Dawn**

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Chapter 9

**Dorm Life**

The University of Cambridge is steeped in history. Kings and Queens have studied here as well as some of the most noted scholars, scientists, mathematicians, and humanists our world has ever known. For over 800 years, the university has shaped our world and the direction with which it flows. In my personal life, history and the present become so tangled within each other that it becomes impossible to separate the two. It's part of being a thread of the immortal fabric of time.

Cambridge welcomed me officially in January; I had been living in a small flat for several weeks purchasing everything I would need for the next few years. I did travel back home for Christmas. I was still furious with my parents for causing Embry to leave, but we were still family. It was tense and short. Remorse was in short supply this year. I couldn't feel any about deciding so sporadically to leave for college, and my parents couldn't work up any on their side for wanting him out of my life. I came back after just three days.

The hurt from knowing that Embry was so far away still hung about me like a mist, reaching in and chilling me to the bone, causing my senses to not work quite as well. Every day I rebelled against the depression that hovered about me. Focusing on this new chapter of my existence was a good move. I spent the entirety of January just getting into the routine. My family took the three days that I spent at Christmas with them to provide what help they could offer without actually being there to walk me through it. (Which they so totally wanted to do and kept mentioning it the entire time I was there.)

I was prepared for the stately edifices of learning, for the river which wound through the center of the campus unconcerned with the bustle of life around it. I expected the college pace and the clusters of people from every social class and every corner of the world arguing good naturedly about philosophy and politics. Alice had prepped me for the human males who would try so desperately for my attention. Mom coached me through the female jealousy that I was bound to encounter. Esme gave me the practical advice of how to deal with my professors and peers. I knew that my major of choice, molecular biology, would not be easy; I would be competing with the best minds in Europe in this field.

The one thing I wasn't prepared for was Darcie.

She was as human as they came.

We met while I was moving in down the hall. Her room was three doors down and across the hall. She screamed as though the world was coming to an end. I rushed to the rescue. It was a spider- a tiny, little arachnid scurrying up her wall.

Her fear borders on a phobia. Although, she'd never confess it.

As we became friends and the term ripened into the steady pace of class, homework, studying, and back to class, she'd randomly burst into my room crying about one thing and leave laughing about something else. Her emotions swung back and forth almost irrationally. It only took a simple meaningless memory to send her into fits of laughter at the drop of a hat. Everyone around her would start laughing at her as she sat, tears rolled down her cheeks. She'd lean back against the ancient stone walkways and keep going until she exhausted the cause of her laughter. She'd then sit back up, wipe her eyes dry, and say, "Now where were we?" Never bothering to explain the reason for her fit.

I liked her immediately. So did everyone else who was new to our dormitory. She was infectious. You couldn't help but smile at her crazy ideas, shake your head at some embarrassing moment. She seldom thought about her behavior. Darcy lived every second of her life for that moment alone. She put off projects until the last minute, forgot assignments, and reasoned her way out of trouble with her professors. She had a brilliant mind and a creative spirit, but she really was a terrible student. That didn't matter to her because, somehow, she managed to pass every class with an A. It wasn't because her professors liked her either. She could spot every inconsistency in an argument or lecture. She would question the lead professor as if he or she was defending his/her dissertation for a second go. She could tongue-tie the most confident scholar, she put a teaching assistant into tears, and it came as no surprise when one of her professors suggested that she move from her liberal arts major to one in law. You might say that the professor, Dr. Milkner, saw a future for a brilliant mind in politics either creating the law or defending it. Most likely, he didn't want to spend the next four years under Darcie's intellectual assault.

Darcie dissolved one of my biggest fears about managing the college world which was finding a place to fit in. There are so many groups in college; society forms some, money others, brilliance yet a third. These invisible boundaries meant nothing to Darcie. She was immune to their borders, and since she became my very best friend in the entire world, I breezed across them as well.

I finally had a friend, a real, flesh and blood human friend, with whom I complained about my parents and confided about Embry, discussed assignments and laughed at other students. She sympathetically agreed that parents are just too overprotective in general, and she appropriately dogged Embry for "breaking up" with me and followed it by the longest hug and said, "I'm sorry, but there are so many more guys out there. We'll have fun trying them out- like modeling new clothes. Don't think about him again."

And the test of a new friend? When I did mention him (all 17 times), she let me talk and never complained about my ever-smarting hurt over that relationship. Heaven was beaming down on me to give me such a great friend. This unexpected human friendship made that first semester such an enjoyable and effortless experience. I belonged somewhere. I had a friend who seemed to accept me for who I was. There was only one flaw in Darcie that I never mentioned aloud and certainly not to anyone else.

The girl never shut up.

She talked from the minute she woke up, while she was eating, when she was in the bathroom, during her walks to class, when she brushed her teeth. I'm not sure she even breathed for the first two weeks that we were friends. I could forgive this though. I was more of a listener, so we got along well.

I finished my first semester with perfect grades. I enjoyed all the subjects that I had taken as part of the general curriculum. With the supernatural mental capabilities, I took full course loads with no problems. My social life was blossoming. Darcie remained my best friend, but I did form several friendships in each of my classes and through Darcie as well. I found that I definitely attracted a lot of male attention although I was labeled a bit bookish since I didn't accept the offers that I frequently got for dinner, lunch, tea, or movies. I kept the pace during the summer and was on an accelerated course to graduate a year early.

All-in-all, I loved the college life: freedom, independence, distance, friendship; it was great, but Darcie thought I needed some romance to take my mind off Embry. She broached the subject just before the Autumn term began.

"I have met the perfect guy for you, Serenity. He's in medicine so you'll get along. He's gorgeous. He's smart, sweet, and he'll treat you so well. You're absolutely going to fall in love with him."

I rolled my eyes. "No, Darcie. I'm not interested! I've managed to get through my first semester and almost the entire summer without getting messed with guys. I get a new date offer every other day. You would think that I'd have run through every testosterone-producing body in the entire university. Who in the world are you thinking of?"

"You have to meet him! I promised that you'd come talk to him. Oh, please, Serenity. You have to! I'll never be able to show my face in the science building again if you don't go. He's expecting to meet you for coffee this Thursday."

"I just ended a relationship. Isn't there a mandatory rebound time to observe? Like a mourning period?"

"Hello! It's been like, almost a year! I think you've done your time. At least check him out!"

Uhhhhh! My stomach twisted up in a knot. I didn't want to do this. Life is just so much easier without guys confusing you and making you crazy for them. This was definitely against my better judgment.

"Fine," I conceded, "I'll see what he looks like. If I'm not interested, you tell him I got hit by the subway and have amnesia. I'm sure you can make it believable." I couldn't dredge up the least amount of remorse for being so callous. Once bitten…

"You are going to thank me for this! He's just perfect." She sing-songed back to her room down the hall. I swear I heard her start some rhyming that had to do with sitting in a tree. It didn't ring a bell though.

Every day that week, the knot in my stomach grew until it made eating impossible. The knot took on a personality and sent tendrils up to my brain to cause every thought to center around my first "date". It filled my arms and legs with lead. I actually had a difficult time walking around. Darcie had no idea, but I was simply not prepared to meet anyone. I didn't even know how to begin a conversation with a stranger. Every past experience I'd had was filled with stares and whispered comments. Meeting a new face involved defending a vampire's right to produce a child if he/she so wished. These moments had always been filled with shame on my part- as if I shouldn't exist, that I was an abnormality.

So, as the days passed by, I seriously considered taking the store of peas from Dad's "official Cullen business" visit in Ireland and hiding in a hole until it was safe to collect life insurance.

But Carlisle and Esme showed up and saved the day.

They were in my room when I finished my Physics class.

"Oh, you look wonderful!" Esme pulled me close to her and squeezed out all of the hugs she had been missing since I stormed out of their home. She pushed me back for a moment to examine every feature in my face. She inventoried every cut of the eye, my posture, body language, the hold of my mouth and came to her conclusion. "You're happy! I haven't seen you smiling in so long. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that this is suiting you so well!"

Esme always had that special gift of making you feel like the most beautiful and precious person on earth.

"You're dad sent a gift. It's on the bed," Carlisle remarked. "You really do look great! We've missed you. Your Grandma hasn't let a day go by without wondering what you were doing."

"Come on Grandpa, I know that Alice and Jasper's been watching me."

His expression didn't change—his face calmly proving I was right.

The corners of his mouth turned up slowly. "How did you know?" he inquired.

"I'm still a part of this family aren't I? We take care of our own." I shrugged smirking that I was right. Maybe superiority would be an attitude that I would be able to carry one day.

"But how did you know it was Alice and Jasper?" Esme still hadn't released me; her arm rested on my back barely brushing my long curls. Nobody loved her family more than Esme.

"Mom and Dad wouldn't be able to stay away. Mom would have had to put in her opinion on something, and Dad would have seen all the guys who were asking me out. Even if I never saw either of them, the guys would still have ended up in bandages. I think I would have noticed the pattern. Edward and Bella wouldn't be very good at watching me since they still don't want to take their eyes and hands off each other. Plus, they couldn't stay away from Nessie that long. You have the hospital, so… process of elimination."

"We just want to make sure you're okay, honey." Carlisle sat down at my desk. "Tell us about college."

I brought them up to date including every class I was taking, my highest honors achievements, Darcie took at least 30 minutes to explain. We took a short break to go out to get me some food. They laughed when I told them about Darcie and I attending a very prestigious awards ceremony and, when the speaker asked the honored guest to rise, Darcie stood up not realizing that it wasn't a request of the audience. She hadn't been listening and only caught the "please stand". That alone wouldn't even make it memorable. It was the 4.5 seconds that she remained standing and looked around at everyone else still seated as if to say, "Why are you still sitting?" Once common sense caught up to her actions, or maybe she just finally noticed the bewilderment on everyone else's face—including the speaker-, she sat down in a hurry, turned cherry red, and we giggled silently for the entire program.

"What's the best and worst part of being away at college?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm loving these people. That's the best part. I've always seemed more connected to humans. I don't know why. Renesmee seems more of a vampire to me. I don't know if I'm odd or maybe I have more of my mother in me than I've ever realized. I fit in well. The worst part is realizing that none of these friendships can last. They are all going to grow up one day, and I'm not. Eventually, I'm going to lose them. It surprises me how often I think of it."

Carlisle understood my feelings perfectly, and Esme heard my hurt.

She couldn't help reassuring me. "Serenity, you're perfect the way you are. If we've ever made you feel anything less, I want to apologize. We love you exactly the way that you are. There isn't a person in our home that would want you to change at all. Not one tiny bit. We love this human quality about you." Her fervor and conviction overwhelmed her words. She put so much love into everything that she did and said. Her genuineness could never be questioned. "Have you ever considered that your compassion towards humans and animals causes us to respect you so much? We don't have a choice but to hunt. You, though, have chosen to honor all life. We know how unappetizing it must be to live off of human food when your body craves more. We admire your self-sacrifice more than we've ever expressed."

"We are so proud of you," Carlisle interjected. He stood and sat next to me on the bed. "We are very aware of the difficulties you've faced growing up. I wish we could have protected you from those. Regardless, you have become the strong, independent woman that we always knew you'd become. We're proud of your choices, and nothing. Nothing. Will ever change that. I hope you know how important you are to us."

Tears, again. At least this time I was happy. All I could do was nod. That knot in my stomach relocated to my throat and clenched so tightly so that sound was impossible.

"We didn't want to make you cry," Esme wiped the few tears that were stubbornly clinging to my cheeks.

A whisper escaped, deep and throaty. "It's okay. I'm so glad you came."

"Well not everyone was so sure. You haven't opened your dad's package." Carlisle pulled up a box from the top of my bed. It was about two feet square. I opened it and found bags of beans, every type of dried bean available in New Hampshire.

I flopped back on my bed shaking with pure hysterics until more tears were rolling down my sides. Just then, Darcie burst through my door and froze in mid-intrusion when she saw Esme and Carlisle standing there and me lying back on the bed rolling with laughter, her eyes just darted from me to Esme to Carlisle and back to me. I sat up and couldn't help myself. "My dad," gasp, "he, he, he," I couldn't breathe, "sent me beans!" More fits hit me as I flopped back shaking with laughter.

She must have thought that I lost my mind.

Thankfully, Carlisle retained his senses. "Hello, you must be Darcie. I'm Serenity's grandfather. This is Esme, my wife." He put his arm around her waist to avoid the necessary hand shake that polite company required. Darcie stood statue still. "Serenity says that you have been a wonderful friend to her. It's very nice to meet you."

"Um, she's really great, way more serious than this, so I thought something was wrong. I needed a good laugh and thought I'd join in, but I'll come by later. You haven't seen her in a while, I guess." She backed out the door. "Umm, yah, so I'll leave. Nice to meet you, too."

And she was gone. Too much vampire and the humans run for cover. Good thing usually. No matter how nice my vampires were, humans just couldn't handle walking up on one unawares.

Ahhh, even a thousand miles away, Dad was still making me laugh. Finally the laughter subsided into giggles and then I could function like a normal person once more. I propped up on my elbows, and examined Esme and Carlisle more critically than I had. They both had the faint wrinkles around their eyes and Carlisle's gray hair was still in place. It hadn't even faded.

"I wondered if the aging would stay when I wasn't home to keep it up. I figured that everyone would have gone back to normal, and the town would have thought you'd gotten Botox."

Carlisle chucked under his breath. "Your work seems permanent until you decide to change it. It's very convenient to us. Emmett and Rose are ecstatic that they don't have to go to high school again for a while."

"How are they?" I couldn't help it. Kids just want their parents to be happy.

Esme was the one to answer. "They're good. They're talking. It's so strange for Rose to hold a grudge. Especially for this long." Esme drifted into thoughts that she had been having for a while. "She's made mistakes in the past, but she's made amends. Why Rosalie is holding onto this bitterness is beyond my understanding. She can't or won't explain it either." Esme patted my hand and the worry lines softened on her face. "Sometimes it takes people years to let go of a hurt. Vampires are no different. They'll work it out eventually. I promise."

Carlisle moved to give me another hug. "I have business to attend to at the university. I've heard of your date." He tipped my chin up because that knot was back making my stomach churn. "I think you'll have a good time."

"Now this is almost creepy. If Alice and Jasper's that thorough, I'm going to start feeling stalked pretty soon." I couldn't help but to complain a bit. I was trying to establish some independence wasn't I?

Carlisle's grin never had a chance to fade. "You forget. Alice can see the decisions of the people around you, makes it easy. Esme will help you out."

"Shopping!" she rang out. "Alice is going to meet us!"

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Exactly 22 hours later, I was standing outside a coffee house near King's College. It was reputed to be the best on campus. My date, uhg, I still wasn't into this mentally, was trying to make a good impression, so he got a few points for that. Darcie stood to my left whipping her head in circles trying to find him. She looked like she needed a good exorcism.

"There he is!" she squealed. She bounced up and down while holding onto my arm and then started dragging me down the street to meet "him".

This guy, much older than us, caught our attention. He had to be in his mid-twenties. His eyes widened when he glimpsed me. This was as blind for him as it was for me. I'm glad that Darcie, for once in her life, didn't exaggerate. This guy was gorgeous. Not in the earthy, masculine Embry way. It was a clean, well-dressed, carefully manicured appearance. Whoever this was, he wasn't grunging in jeans and a t-shirt. He knew how to take care of himself.

He reached out his hand, "It's nice to finally meet you. My name's Evan. Darcie has talked nonstop about you."

I bet she had.

"Serenity." I grasped his hand and waited for the anticipated shock of my body heat to register with him. He was quick.

"Wow! Are you okay? You're burning up." He definitely had the makings of a doctor because he immediately brushed the back of his hand on my forehead, his entire expression focused on the vital signs that he could observe.

Darcie jumped in. "It's a medical condition. It's fine." She waved his hand away from my forehead. "Would you stop giving her a physical? You're embarrassing me!" He immediately withdrew his hand looking abashed.

I laughed. "It's okay. I'm really used to it. My grandfather is a doctor." What I was thinking was, _Shut up, Darcie!_

I turned toward her, "Didn't you have a paper to write that was due yesterday?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly.

"Alright, I get it. Bye!" and she trotted off. $100 said she still didn't do that paper.

"Do you drink coffee, Serenity?" Evan still had that doctor look about him trying to make sure that I was really okay.

"I've never tried it to be honest. It smells great though," I conceded. He opened the door for me and ordered a small coffee for me and a latte for himself. I took a sip and wanted to spit it out. My mouth twisted in on itself.

I held it at arm's length. How could something that possessed such a wonderful aroma taste so awful?

"I don't think I'm much of a coffee person. It's really bitter."

"Here, let me add some cream and sugar." After doctoring the cup, he handed it back. I was hesitant, but the coffee was better.

"I can handle that."

"Do you like chocolate?"

I cocked my head to the left. "I'm a girl, right?"

"I'm sure hoping so!" he countered with a good laugh. "Let's try you with a mocha." He ordered. I briefly wondered if he was going to buy me one of every kind of coffee until I found the perfect recipe.

When the clerk handed me the steaming cup, the scent drifted up to me, and I was hooked. I really did like chocolate. The sweetness of the sugar actually made my taste buds take notice which was not an activity they were accustomed to. I sipped the liquid, closed my eyes, and was entranced. It was perfect. The chocolaty richness of the syrup blended perfectly with the hot milk and espresso. I sighed, and Even seemed very please.

"Alright, then. Would you like to sit down?"

I was still loving this dreamy piece of heaven. Why hadn't I ever tried this before? I followed the scent of his latte. I could still walk and sip the coffee.

Evan chose a quiet corner to sit. There were two wingback chairs, close enough to be private, but not enough to be uncomfortable, and we began the small talk.

Thank you Esme and Alice for Dating 101.

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A/N: Reviewers are loved, as my 4-year old used to say, pitty peas?


	10. Chapter 10 Fairy Tales

**A/N: If you notice any mistakes, let me know. I fix that kind of stuff before too many people realize that I have the spelling abilities of an 8 year old. I've read over and over it, but it's blurring into mush. **

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Chapter 10

**Fairy Tales**

It turned out that Esme and Carlisle didn't just have business at Cambridge. They were moving here. It was actually unrelated to me, or so they swore. I figured it was time to give up my edict that everyone leave me alone. I actually missed them so much more than I thought I would.

Carlisle had a home in England. It was tiny compared to his other residences, so the family rarely lived here together. It was reserved for those times when Carlisle and Esme wanted to spend time visiting their European friends. For the meantime, it was perfect for themselves, Alice, and Jasper.

Even Mom and Dad flew over for several weeks. The six of us had a quiet Christmas holiday together which turned out to be almost like a fairytale. Alice and Esme decorated the cottage in silver and crystalline. We had fresh evergreen trees in every room infused with small twinkling lights that made evenings utterly magical. There were no grudges acknowledged, no angry looks, and no sulking. Even more odd, there was _laughing_. Dad teased Mom and Alice, and Jasper actually looked at ease. I caught myself staring from vampire to vampire in awe that life could feel so normal. We missed Edward, Bella, Nessie, and …, nah. Just Edward, Bella, and Nessie. We would celebrate a late Christmas together closer to New Year's.

In the meantime, I tried to reconcile with Mom.

We shopped.

We talked.

I hugged her.

She hugged me back.

She didn't apologize.

I didn't expect it.

She did listen to my ramblings about Evan. She even managed to keep from grimacing. It was no secret that she wasn't thrilled about me "dating" a human. She "Mmmm" and nodded when those responses were necessary, but I kept my Evan conversation to a basic outline. Darcie reaffirmed that parents should only know so much info on their kids. All in all, I made my best attempt to show her that I was sorry for my outbursts earlier in the year, and she seemed to accept that.

Alice, on the other hand, _adored_ the details. She wanted to hear about every date, every conversation, every kiss, every touch, every thought. I happily obliged since I had to edit so many of my thoughts for Darcie. Alice saw Evan's decisions and loved that he surprised me all the time with little gifts and kindnesses. She thought he was perfect for me. She lived for the surprise lunches, the unexpected appearances, and the flowers. You would think that everything he did for me was a direct offering to her. He spoiled me, so he was automatically on the "in" list with Alice.

She had foreseen his first surprise lunch offer. It was a week after we had met, and he perched himself on the balcony outside of my literature class. I was almost finished with the core studies and was set to begin my major track after Winter Break.

"Hey, Evan!" I exclaimed in surprise.

"Hi. Are you hungry? I would love to take you to lunch today if you don't have any plans."

"No, eating is at the top of my priority list right now. This class is quite uninteresting." I didn't add that I had read the entire syllabus of required readings and comprehended these better than the professor whose lecture was infused with alcohol related slips and lost trains of thought. Only I would be able to smell the vodka that still hung about him.

"I thought the same thing when I took this class. I had the same professor, and swear you won't tell, but I think he drinks before his lectures."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?" as if I didn't know that already.

"Yep. In my opinion, the alcoholic lectures are far more fascinating. At least you get a few hilarious stories out of the period, so it's not a complete waste of time." I had to laugh. It was so true. Anytime a professor accidentally shares the time he or she appeared naked on the front lawn of his/her mother's home completely inebriated on Christmas Day, it's an enjoyable lecture even if it doesn't contribute much to the course objectives.

Evan drove me to a small pub in the city. It was a perfect mix of a modern appearance, yet it held a quaint and intimate atmosphere. We ordered stone-baked pizza. Evan assured me it was the best pizza he had ever tasted. I took his word for it since everything tasted the same to me, kind of like stale bread. Every once in a while, something really spicy or sweet made an impact and provided an enjoyable eating experience. After ordering, we staked out a spot in the lower level on a small couch. Evan sat down first and patted the seat next to him indicating my spot. I sat. His close proximity was not lost on me.

"Tell me more about yourself. Start from where we left off last week," he began. "You told me about your family and high school."

I lied about high school and about my family. Evan thought I had a solid middle-class upbringing in New Hampshire. I didn't think he would quite understand the whole, _I murdered my mother and am going to live forever. My family would love nothing more than to drink every ounce of blood from your body. I'd join in, too, but I'm trying to keep my death tally at 1._

"There's really not much to tell," I laughed to cover up the lack of information. "I spent most of my time studying. I didn't go out much with other people back home. I've taken one trip to Ireland, but that's the only time I've left the states except for the present of course." He absorbed every word I said. "We've already talked a lot about me. Tell me about your family. Why are you here studying medicine?"

"A break from the family business." He seemed to be memorizing every inch of my face. He moved from my eyes to my lips back to my eyes. I wasn't a relationship expert, but if this date didn't end in some form of physical contact, then I was missing something very important.

"And that would be?" I prodded. I was smiling because he had been incredibly cryptic about his family.

"Lots of lying and manipulation and living off the hard work of others less fortunate. My family is complicated. You described your situation similarly, didn't you. I can relate. I did take some time after my terminale year of school- I was educated in France- and traveled to some of my family's businesses throughout Europe. It sounds boring, but I was a little wilder then, so I made it a bit more interesting. The drinking age is much lower than from where you are from. I took advantage of that, unfortunately."

"And once you sobered up, you decided to attend Cambridge?"

He laughed out loud and took my hand.

"Yes, where this annoying girl started bothering me about meeting her friend who was," his voice turned soprano, "so perfect, absolutely incredibly perfect and beautiful and just perfect!"

I couldn't help but giggle. "I can't believe you didn't grab Darcie up from the beginning. She really liked you."

Evan leaned in closer to me. He still had a hold of my hand which he now held on his lap in both of his. He looked me intently in the eyes. His were an indecipherable blue-gray which seemed to waver between the two colors depending on the intensity of his gaze. He dropped his voice to a whisper, "Just between you and me," he leaned in to where we were inches apart, "she talks too much."

Then he kissed me just as our buzzer signaled that our meal was ready to be picked up.

* * *

First kisses are the best. I floated through the rest of my day on electric pulses that made me feel like I was hovering inches above the ground. Alice just squealed when I told her. Course she saw it the moment he decided. I just didn't think it was fair that she got to see my kiss before I got to experience it. But, it's just one of those things that I have to get used to, I suppose.

Alice was much more helpful about providing the background to Evan's life that he alluded to but didn't quite share.

"He was a playboy during his teen years and until he was about 20. His parents are in politics in France. They're very high up in the ranks. I'm not surprised that he hasn't mentioned it. His family is as close to royalty as you can get. There are illegitimate births from the past that suggest his family might be able to boast that they are descended from kings. His parents are as pretentious as they come. They're both children of French Senators, and if they knew he was involved with someone outside their social networks, they would likely cut him off from the family fortune. I'm sort of surprised that they haven't already based on his previous actions. There are hundreds of mentions of him in gossip magazines and online. He rebelled in the strongest sense of the word. Being the only son must be working to his advantage." Alice looked me over pointedly. "This is becoming a habit with you, Serenity. You really like bad boys don't you?"

"He wasn't bad when I met him!" I defended myself, "and besides, two is only a coincidence. Three would be a pattern."

Alice hmmphed, "But there had to be something about him that said, "I've partied hard in my life. Get to know me at your own risk."

"Alice! I can't judge him for what he's done. I wouldn't want him to judge me for my actions."

"And what actions are you talking about? You haven't done anything to be ashamed of, Serenity."

"That's a matter of opinion, and you know it."

Alice sighed.

The winter term was about to begin. It was hard to believe that I had been in college for a full year. There were moments when I was hit with the sadness of what brought me here a year ago, but I knew that those memories were a part of my past and that, for now, Evan was my present. I was enjoying that very much, but I still couldn't help wondering what Embry was doing. Did he still think about me? Had he imprinted? Was he back to chasing any girl he saw? Did he still care about me? Darcie assured me that it was normal to never forget the first person you really love. She said she would have remembered her first love except that she couldn't remember his name. She was 9, and he was 21 and didn't know that she existed.

"It wasn't meant to be, you know?" she explained.

No kidding.

Life was exciting. College was no problem academically, and my world seemed very happy.

Evan and I had been "dating" for just past two months when Alice suggested that he meet her, Carlisle, and Esme. It was planned as a quick meeting at the very coffeehouse where we first met.

When Evan and I arrived, Esme and Alice were 'finishing' up a cup of coffee each. They sat together on a loveseat whispering to each other and beaming with pride. There was a warm fire cackling in the hearth just to the right of Esme. Winter decorations still graced the mantle and the scent of evergreens and holly drifted in the room mingling with the coffee and brewing tea.

Esme wore thin gloves that helped to mask her body temperature, and Alice had been holding a scorching hot cup to warm hers. Even didn't question the temperature if he noticed it. His manners were exemplary.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Evan. Serenity has told us how wonderful you are."

"I'm Alice, her cousin." That was our official story for the time being. "You're just as adorable as she described."

Evan took it in stride with a chuckle which bore no conceit at all. He really was perfect. "It's very good to meet you both as well. Esme? You're not related to…"

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen? Yes, she is my very beautiful, wonderful, talented, amazing wife." Carlisle had just walked through the door. He strode over to Esme, kissed her, and turned to shake Evan's hand. Carlisle shuddered, "It's really cold out there!"

"Here," Evan offered his seat which was closest to the fire. "You'll warm up faster this way."

"So, this young lady you've been talking incessantly about is my granddaughter, hmmm?"

Evan laughed. "Yes, sir, obviously so. I should have known. She's beautiful, kind, and brilliant. I can't believe that I didn't realize sooner."

"She resembles her father."

"That would be your son?" Evan questioned.

"Yes. Her parents are in the states at our family home. I know they hope to meet you soon."

Oh, sure. Mom and Dad would have him terrified with a minute and running for the hills. Wouldn't be the first time…

Alice spoke up.

"Evan, are you involved in Carlisle's research?"

"Indirectly. I obtained a fellowship while I work on my dissertation that has overlapped with Dr. Cullen's research." He looked at me and continued. "Your grandfather's brilliant. It's no wonder you're acing your classes here. He's going to change the world of medicine as we know it. Dr. Bryst, the lead scientist of our fellowship, is a genius, but without Dr. Cullen's insight, this project would probably have ended a long time ago.

"What's the subject of the research?" I inquired.

Evan deferred to Carlisle, "Dr. Cullen?"

"Living blood synthetically produced," Carlisle shared for the first time.

"How is that possible?" I asked. It seemed a contradiction in terms.

Evan explained. "It's the sheer simplicity that's so brilliant about it. Dr. Bryst and Dr. Cullen have created an enzyme that allows human blood to reproduce outside the human body."

"This is what you've been flying to Europe for during the last five years." I stated.

Carlisle's excitement was difficult to tone down now that he was finally able to share this project. "It's thrilling to be on the cutting edge of medicine. There are the obvious positive aspects of this research. There could be far-reaching ramifications that we haven't even considered yet."

Evan interjected, "I've been so fortunate to be in on this research. I really think that there is a huge future here.

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "More than we can imagine," he said with pointed looks at Alice and myself. "We've pretty much worked through the kinks. It's the main reason that we've moved our residence here for now—to see this through to the end.

"Dr. Bryst has been jumpier than ever lately. I think the closer this project gets to its culmination, the worse his nerves get. This is Nobel prize material."

Alice chimed in with a teasing comment, "That will make how many Carlisle? Six?"

"Seven, but I try not to brag." The entire group laughed. Carlisle continued, "We hate to leave so soon, but Dr. Bryst is expecting Esme and myself for supper." He patted Evan on the shoulder as he rose from the couch. "Evan, I enjoyed talking with you again. Take very good care of my granddaughter. There's few like her." He turned his attention to Esme, "Dear, if you don't mind." She rose and with a quick kiss on my cheek, left.

Alice made her excuses a few minutes later giving us some privacy. The café was deserted. Even the staff was quiet in the back. Evan took my hand, leaned over brushing a few curls behind my ear and very sweetly kissed me for what felt like hours. I could have stayed right there forever.

* * *

On the first day of classes, I arrived at the science lab to find Evan waiting for me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, pleased to see him again.

He leaned down as I rose on my tiptoes to kiss him good morning. He held my waist and took his time deepening the kiss and moving to my neck for one tiny peck under me ear.

"I couldn't wait to see you. I thought I'd ease the transition. Dr. Bryst," he stopped mid-sentence, pulled back and interjected, "do you remember me talking about him when I met your family?"

"I think so." Like I ever forgot anything. I smiled to myself picturing my head on the body of an elephant.

"He has an unsettling," he struggled to find the right word, "aura, perhaps? Most of the students in his classes leave after that first lecture sick. I'm used to it since I've worked with him for a while. I wanted to warn you."

"You're so sweet. You think of everything." I laced my fingers through his and aimed a kiss for his bottom lip.

"You keep that up, you're never going to get to class," he growled.

"Promise?"

His laughter rang out across the snow on this frigid morning. "I brought you some coffee to warm you up. I'd hate to waste it." Now it was my turn to laugh.

We settled in on the front row off to the left of the huge auditorium that easily sat 300. This was a basic science course and was required for several majors, so there were several assistant professors, to which my wonderful Evan belonged. We were still whispering when Dr. Bryst entered the room behind where I was sitting. When the door closed behind him, it blew his scent right towards me. As the smell danced around me, I caught something that I hadn't expected.

Vampire.

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A/N: Thoughts? I hope so. I'd hate to think that I'm boring you to death! LOL. I am just about finished with ch 13. I'll plan to update maybe Thursday/Friday. Thank you all!

**To those who leave the anonymous reviews, I am not able to respond. I love thanking you for taking the time to leave a review. I don't want to disable that because we all know that review numbers are the bread and butter of these fics. **

**Thanks, thanks, thanks,  
Dawn**


	11. Chapter 11 Firsts

**A/N: Just a reminder that the extended family isn't gone. They'll be back. I missed them too writing this. :)**

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Chapter 11

**Firsts**

I never expected to find a vampire teaching collegiate biology.

He was shorter with a medium build, and he was older than the general youthful beauty that I had been exposed to in the vampire world. He had to have been at least 40 when he was turned. Despite the fact that he was older, he had the vampiric quality of beauty and agelessness that graced his kind. To be a vampire, though, and extraordinarily equipped with sensory devices, he didn't seem to even notice that I was there. He began class without preamble, and despite my familiarity with his kind, I did leave unsettled. I couldn't tell if it was a gift that he possessed or my discomfort with finding a vampire who clearly did not hold to a vegetarian diet in such an O positive-rich atmosphere. His dull eyes were clouded by contacts which no one else, probably not even the assistants who taught in such prolonged proximity to him, had noticed. I wasn't so easy to fool.

Class ended, and we were dismissed without ceremony or pleasant chatter. Every warm-blooded body exited the room as quickly as he or she could, and exclamations about how awful the class was echoed back into the auditorium oblivious to anyone except Dr. Bryst and myself.

Evan stood with me and took my laptop- good manners at work yet again. He whispered his thoughts in my ear.

"Difficult to stomach isn't it?" I noticed the doctor's mouth twitch so faintly. Human eyes couldn't detect the faint movements of his species. "It gets better I promise. He is a genius. Would you like to meet him? I'm sure he would be interested in you since he knows your grandfather so well."

"I would normally say yes, but he's gone."

Evan looked around nodding his head to concede my point. "Yah, that guy sure can move for someone older. He disappears so often, I swear that he's descended from Houdini."

It didn't matter. When it came to the vampire world, I had my connections.

Carlisle introduced me to Dr. Bryst a week later. He seemed pleasant enough outside of class. He and Carlisle spoke at length about the research, and I have to admit that it was fascinating. Our vampire world was definitely changing, and Carlisle and Dr. Bryst were going to be the hub of that change.

Dr. Bryst begged my forgiveness when he finally had a private moment to speak with me. "You understand that I do not wish to draw any attention to myself. It's not that I don't want to recognize you apart from the class, I just want to appear no more connected to you than to anyone else there."

"Carlisle explained that to me before. I was shocked that a vampire who still feeds on humans has the restraint to teach in such an enclosed facility with so many bodies." His crimson eyes belied nothing.

"I hunt far away from here. I have supplemented my diet with blood bags when necessary, but yes, it is difficult at times. There have been moments when a human will cut himself, and I struggle. On the other hand, I have been alive for a very long time; self-discipline is a time-honored reward."

"Do you wish to stop hunting humans?" I questioned.

"No, if I were to be perfectly honest with you, but I don't think that I have the luxury anymore to hunt at will. I believe that very soon any hunting will be detrimental to our survival. Self-preservation is the strongest of vampire instincts; I must do what I can. Your grandfather has been instrumental in what we are striving to complete. I was a skeptic at the commencement of this study, but he has made me a believer. I can see that there might be a time when vampires can live without actually taking human life." His expression softened as he regarded me. "I believe that resonates with you, my dear?"

It did indeed.

* * *

Where Evan was the model citizen concerning manners, Darcie should have been arrested for criminal abuse. She might have kept her distance when Evan was around, but after he left, she pounced like a starving lioness.

"Did he kiss you? Tell me, please!" Her eyebrows shot up. "Did you do anything else?" I hadn't shared too much information because facts were facts; she did talk and talk and talk. I didn't want to end up as the subject of erotic conversation.

Darcie didn't mind talking sex at all.

"Serenity! You've been dating him for 3 months! Don't you think it's time?"

"I don't know! It seems so soon!"

"Nope, not to me. He's so yummy, I'd have already been into that. I can't believe you're still a virgin."

I rolled my eyes for the tenth time. "Why are you pressuring me into this when he's not at all? This is totally backwards you know."

She put her hands on her hips and stared at me like I had lost my mind. "I'm trying to figure you out. You don't act like anyone I've ever known. I mean, you like him, right?"

"Yes. He's wonderful! He's…" I looked up arching my eyes over the room and allowing my train of thought to slow. I noted the bracelet he bought me sitting on my desk. I could make out the scrap of paper that had an address he taped to my door which turned out to be a very wonderful dinner. My shirt from the previous morning was still lying draped over my chair to which his clean scent still clung. A picture Darcie took was tucked into the corner of my mirror of Evan and me eating lunch outside on a warm day that surprised all of England a few weeks ago. I continued, "He's perfect."

"Do you love him?" she asked.

"I've only known him for 3 months. I can't decide if I love someone that quickly."

"How long did you know Embry?"

"We grew up together. We talked for over a year and still didn't have sex. We both knew that it wouldn't have lasted between us."

"You're older now. That was a long time ago. Do you think Evan will leave you like Embry did?"

It was so difficult to explain the complexities of my experience and situation. Love at first sight was so real; Jacob and Renesmee, Mom and Dad, Carlisle and Esme, Jasper and Alice. Even Edward and Bella didn't take very long before they knew they belonged together. All the wolves who'd imprinted spoke to this as well. In my world, finding that one person with whom one belonged was vitally important. If you're going to live forever, you want to live with someone you passionately, genuinely, with all of your soul loved. I was the only one who couldn't seem to fit inside that mold.

How was I supposed to actually _recognize_ first sight love? There were no flashing lights, and there was no imprint enchantment to make the decision easy. Figuring out love was becoming a very _human_ experience for me. To say it was frustrating was to waste one's breath. In my brief non-vampire-drenched experience, humans seemed to fall in and out of love with the chiming of a clock. I had no idea if I could fall in love so quickly or how to know if I did.

Darcie continued oblivious to my pondering, "I mean, I don't sleep around. Okay, I don't sleep around _much_, but I think you can love more than just one person. I've got years to find that perfect guy and my whole life to love him. If Evan was as into me as he is into you, we would for sure already…" She trailed off, her meaning quite clear even if unspoken. I looked at her and the weight of her words hit me. _I've got years… my whole life…_

I could see her entire life flash before me. It was a blink. She would become old with laugh lines or worry wrinkles. She would have children and grandchildren. She would work and work fighting for everything she would have. Then she would die. Her life was a fleeting wisp of smoke. Nothing would really remain of her body. Her spirit would live on based upon her faith and belief.

I was overwhelmed with the loss that I knew would come eventually. Of course I knew that her life would end, but its reality crashed into me. I grieved for her in that moment despite the vibrancy she possessed. She stared at me unaware of my thoughts. I couldn't speak for the sadness that encompassed my heart, and I couldn't ask Carlisle to change every friend I might make so that I wouldn't lose them. I made an abrupt excuse to leave, jumped into my SUV, and drove to see Alice and Esme.

They were at the door waiting when I got out of my car. I walked straight into Carlisle's arms.

"What is it? What's happened?" he asked. He looked me over with that meticulous diagnostic ability. The superiority of his senses was useless, not even he could see the distress in my heart and mind.

"All these people that I'm forming relationships will die eventually. Darcie was talking to me about Evan, and it hit me. The realization almost knocked me down. They are all going to die. It never seemed real before. I've been thinking for the last year about how I wanted to spend my life, you know? In the human world or the vampire world? For a while I thought I wanted to stay with the humans. I could age myself, but what would I do in 70-80 years? Live past all of my friends? Watch each die off one by one? Lose a husband? Adopted children? Would I be able to fake my own death and force friends and family to bury me? Let people who have loved me for decades stand at my grave and weep for me?

"I can't imagine the choice of being selfish and leaving them or watching them all die, or worse, watching them suffer before leaving this life, and then me, starting all over again. I don't think that I can do that!"

Carlisle, ever calm in a meltdown, consoled me. "I know. That's one of the benefits of moving. We avoid that part of the human life. We don't fit in as well as you do though. None of us, except Alice, has ever formed a true human friendship."

Alice's cool arms embraced me. "I thought of this very same thing when Edward made us leave Forks. I _loved_ Bella; she was already my sister from my visions. I saw her as my best friend for eternity, and when we left, I was devastated. I had lost the possibility. I know I pictured her death a thousand times, and every time, I wasn't there. Either she was old and gray or still young in an accident, which was definitely more likely, or any of hundreds of situations. When I saw her jump off that cliff, and I thought she was gone, I fell apart. I know how difficult it is to see their death coming even if it's not for years. What you have to remember is that they don't realize that there is another life.

"Some go to the grave fighting the whole way, but Darcie?" Alice shook her head, "not her. She's going to love every minute of her life. Whether she lives for 10 years or 80 more. She's not going to regret what she's been given. She's going to live. She's going to make the most of that time, and when she's gone, she's still going to leave the parts of herself that she invests in others—the memories she gives, the life lessons she imparts, the crazy stories she creates. It's the human way of things."

I understood what Alice was saying. "I'm struggling because I've been given more, and I can't share that with her. I'm still trying to decide if what I've been given is a gift or not. I know how Mom feels about our life, but I don't know. I think I'm feeling guilty that I'm going to live forever, but Darcie and Evan won't."

Carlisle pulled me down on the couch next to him. "Your mother had one life, a perfect and beautiful life according to her, and that was stolen away. She never really forgot losing what was within her grasp. You, however, were born for eternity. Death will never be something that you'll need to worry about. Don't feel guilty for being who you are. You are meant to be this way. You'll find your spot in this world of ours." He squeezed my shoulders. "Love your friends. Enjoy the time you have with them. When it's time to leave, we'll help you through that."

It felt like a long drive home. The pros and cons of living in the human world materialized and my agile mind separated them into their respective categories. No matter how many good reasons there were to choosing to live a human life, regardless of how false my performance would be, there were an equal number of reasons why I should avoid it. Nothing was any more settled in my mind after my talk with my family members, although I did feel better.

Darcie never questioned me about leaving so suddenly, but she did seem to lay off the sex talk for now. I appreciated that since I just wasn't ready to go down that road hypothetically or literally. Evan and I continued to spend increasingly longer amounts of time together. Mostly we hung out at a café, or worked in amicable silence. We were both fan of movies although our tastes were polar opposites. I was the quintessential "chick flicker", and he loved psychological horrors. I even stayed over at his flat off and on during the late winter months. His couch was a very comfortable sleeper, and I couldn't count the number of times we fell asleep watching a movie. Darcie never believed that our time together was innocent, so every time I got caught slipping in during the morning hours, I was met by snickers and looks that should not be allowed outside certain dancing establishments.

We developed several outdoor hobbies in common as well. Evan was accomplished at boating. He would borrow a friend's sailboat, and we would spend hours out on the channel. The weather was still cold which never bothered me at all. He grew to love it too. My warm temperature was always a good excuse for warming up hands and noses on him. Evan would use these frigid Sunday afternoons as a reason to inch open my coat and snake his arms around me and nuzzle my neck while the breeze blew my hair every which way.

I realized just before my birthday that I was falling in love with him. I recognized those moments of quiet ease where you find yourself sitting beside that person, and you don't need to fill the silence with anything more than entwining your fingers within his. When we kissed, it was filled with that perfect balance of satisfaction and need. I always looked forward to seeing him. Even when our opinions were contrary to each other, I still needed to be near him, and he felt the same. Although I still spent countless hours with my other friends, I was filled with a constant ache to see him—it didn't matter if we did anything—I just needed to have him near me in some fashion. I would catch myself staring at him loving his tan, the cut of his shoulders under his sports shirts, how his hair barely curled behind his ears and at the nape of his neck.

I hadn't worked up the courage to say the words.

* * *

My birthday fell on a Friday that year. Evan met me at my door with a handful of roses when I returned from my last class.

"For you," and he presented his offering with minimal flourish but with utmost sincerity. "I had these flown in from Egypt just for this occasion."

"Evan, you don't usually brag." My chiding was all in fun, and the expression I wore testified to that.

"You are very, very mistaken. I brag all the time. It seems that there's this stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful vixen that has captured every inch of my mind and soul. She's bewitched me with her eyes which are a truer blue than anything an artist could render. Her mind continues to amaze me with the complexity of thought it is capable of producing." He leaned ever closer to me. "I am about crazy all day long waiting for the moment that I see her again. So, I brag of her beauty to my friends. I boast of her culture to my parents. I lust after a single touch of her lips."

I looked up with complete innocence. "She sounds great. So why are you bothering me all the time then?"

He laughed and wrapped his arms around me and kissed me deeply.

"I have a surprise for your birthday."

"Is it jewelry?"

"Nope."

"A dog?"

"Not today."

"You're taking me shopping."

"Warmer."

"A trip?"

"Bingo."

"Where?"

"My family's estate is in north of Paris. I know for a fact that my parents are far, far away at the moment. I'd love for you to spend this weekend at my home. The orchards are about to start blooming, and the scenery is intoxicating. Since you love the outdoors so much, I thought you'd enjoy the trip." He was pleading with me to go with his eyes despite that his voice was so at ease. "First class," and I was sold.

The flight was only an hour. Very soon I was being driven through the French mountains which were filled with every shade of green that existed. I always loved the spring. There was so much color between the hues of the birthing foliage, and the rainbows created by the frequent rains. There were reflections and refractions through the pools of water that collected in the dips of the mountain road. The air even shimmered with the heaviness of moisture that hung about. Evan couldn't appreciate the smells that the mountainside forests offered, but they brought back memories of times spent with my family in settings just as these. I might not enjoy hunting, but the splendor of the outdoors was a part of my very essence.

Evan's family's estate was nothing short of a castle. It rose in the distance like the scepter of a king. It was nestled just above the rise of hills and the canopy before it almost bowed in reverence allowing its profile to be venerated from all around. The winding road up to the gates was quiet, and a household of servants met us after our drive up to the main entrance. They took the car and ushered us in the doors and out of the still-nippy air. Warm greetings surrounded us. I suspected that there was much formality in Evan's life, but without the presence of his parents, there was a bit of a relaxed atmosphere. I was amazed at this old-world charm and respect for virtual nobility which existed in these people.

I had never imagined myself a princess, yet there wasn't any part of that initial immersion in Evan's life that made me feel anything but. I could almost picture myself as a queen ruling subjects who loved and offered their lives for my own. My own experience with the world of fantasy made me almost expect a fairy godmother to appear at any moment in a display of glittering spells. It did seem that fairy godmothers only existed for those who needed magical intervention, which I didn't. This was pure perfection for me, nothing else required.

Dinner was served in a small dining room just off of the kitchen. I had never varied my eating habits much, so Evan decided to expose me to some traditional French favorites. The food was delightful. The chicken melted in my mouth. Even if the taste wasn't much different than anything else I ate, the texture bespoke of the chef's culinary skills. There were aromatics drifting in from the kitchen of onion, pepper, and garlic. Exotic spices hung about everything that I sampled. Evan was thrilled that I enjoyed the dinner as much as I did.

That evening after we finished the most amazing crepes that could be created, Evan took me on a tour of the chateaux. His family's wealth and status were evident in the historic tapestries, works of art by Degas and Monet, among other well-known painters and sculptors, marble floors, and Austrian crystal chandeliers. We moved from room to room holding hands while he kept up a steady commentary of the history of the library, the chapel, and the dining rooms that once served as a make-shift barn during the bitter winters of the mid 1800s.

We eventually made it to the rooms that had been prepared for our stay.

"Are you really enjoying yourself because if you're not, we can leave right now."

"I love it here, Evan. Your home is amazing. It feels like Snow White should come traipsing through the courtyard any moment."

"Don't expect the dwarves. They quit back in the dark ages. We haven't seen them since. Terrible tenants."

My laughter echoed down the corridor. Evan wound his fingers around a curl that hung over my shoulder and fell just to my waist. His fingers trailed upward and moved to the back of my neck. I mirrored the motions, and he leaned in to meet me halfway.

This was much more electrifying than most of our previous kisses. He was always extremely polite and careful when we touched, and he never allowed what he was feeling at the time carry him away to where he pushed me into situations that I wasn't prepared for—until now. He was after all, a man who was very young and healthy and very attracted to me. He never said a word but the intensity of his eyes, how he glanced down at the way my body curved under my skirt and clingy top, how they slowly lingered on my neck, lips, and my eyes spoke volumes. I made an impulsive decision at that moment because if I allowed myself to think, I would have thought of a dozen reasons not to take him by his hand and pull him into my room and close the door. But I didn't think; I just went with my heart.

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A/N: Nervously pacing waiting to know what you thought.

**All of you are wonderful! Dawn**


	12. Chapter 12 Sunlight and Shadows

**A/N: I lied to a reviewer. I told her that I would post Sunday afternoon. I felt like doing it a little early. That's never a bad thing right? :) **

**Please review if you're enjoying this fiction. If you aren't enjoying it, then you probably clicked the back button a LONG, LONG time ago. Lol! Here goes…**

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Chapter 12

**Sunlight and Shadows**

There were rays of sunlight dancing on the stone floor of my room. The windows had been opened while I slept, and the apple orchards offered their blossoms' bouquet to wish me a good morning. I stretched and sat up wondering where Evan was. Like the perfect host that he is, he didn't keep me waiting for long.

I could hear a cart scraping the concrete hallway outside my door. The smell of coffee traipsed ahead, and a short few moments later, he pushed a cart complete with a cappuccino machine, percolator, an impressive collection of coffees and syrups, and him, perfection walking.

I watched his movements. He was perfectly calm and at ease. My insides were jittery and my heart was alternately racing and pausing; it couldn't decide if it wanted to burst from excitement or simply stay in a state of suspension forever. He walked over to me, sat down, and placed his lips carefully on mine. He remained motionless until I exhaled shakily.

"How are you feeling?"

My face broke into a mischievous grin, and I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know yet. How do you feel?"

"Well, I feel great! I've just spent the night with the most extraordinary person on the face of the planet." He brushed the back of his finders down my cheek and secured the loose curls behind my ear. Sheepishness clouded his face. He obviously wanted to say something that he had not felt comfortable saying last night.

"I didn't realize…, that you, that last night was, um, your…"

I sat up shocked. "You could tell!" I exclaimed. How bad at being a human was I? "Oh, my Gosh, I did it wrong!" Panic set in, and I was about to bolt.

He roared with laughter.

"No! You're perfect! Last night was the best night of my life! Are you crazy?" He swathed me in his muscular arms and rocked me with my head pressed against his chest. He alternately apologized and laughed at my outburst. "I'm so sorry I mentioned it. I didn't want to embarrass you or make you self-conscious. Please forgive me, Serenity," he managed to choke out between snorts of laughter. He put on his most apologetic expression, but despite this, he still couldn't help chuckling.

"You think it's funny?"

"I think your reaction is hilarious," and in a very poor impression of me, " 'I did it wrong?' Priceless!"

I suppose I couldn't help but laugh too if I sounded like that.

We didn't move for the full length of time it took the coffee to brew. He kept whispering, "I did it wrong?" and snickering while the coffee whistled its morning tune. I rolled my eyes and snuggled closer to Evan trying not to whither in self-consciousness. The aroma swirled and filled the room, but neither of us was in a hurry.

Out of the blue, Evan spoke. "How many times have I told you that I love you?"

"Ummm, never. How many times have I told you that I love you?"

"You haven't."

Silence.

"We really need to work on that," I said contemplatively.

He laughed the entire time he made me my coffee. We drank in silence, both of us considering where we now stood in our relationship. It was a great silence, though. Even though I was still recovering from my little outburst earlier, I decided to stop thinking and start feeling again.

Not that I had a collection of seductive looks, but I gave Evan my best. "You know, I am new at this, so if I need some more practice, we have all morning right?"

And Evan didn't seem to have any problem with that.

* * *

By the time I had finished taking a shower, Evan had arranged for our day. We rode horses around the pond and through the orchards. We took a short drive into town. We were both loving the warmth of the day. Spring was usually very cool in Europe, but the weekend had that perfect balance of chill and warmth that only appeared a couple of times a year.

We ended up in the forest, even though 'forest' was a stretch. It was most patches of trees interspersed with meadows. We ate chicken sandwiches and a salad with an amazing vinaigrette dressing. The chef sent croissants which Evan raved about, and I adored the pastries with tart cherries in the middle. We finished lunch and found a comfortable nook where we could relax in the sunlight—my head on his chest. This was the one thing that my entire family, except Renesmee, coveted, my ability to enjoy myself in the sunlight without fear of exposure.

Evan ran his hand up my arm. "I love your skin. It's practically luminescent. Breathtaking."

"I love your eyes. They give away your feelings like a mood ring."

"How so?" he asked.

"They hover between blue and gray. When you're excited, they seem so blue, like right now. But when you're concentrating or really serious, they're grayer. It makes it easy to know how you're feeling."

"You could just ask if you're unsure."

"I like trying to read people. You know, like noticing body language and posture- paying attention to the small huffs when people are agitated or the sighs of contentment when they're happy."

He looked at me pensively. "Let me read you," he offered.

"Ok," I laughed amused. "This should be fun."

"You're happier than you've been in a long time because you've been laughing and joking around much more than you do at school. You're feeling a sense of emotional recklessness and sexual abandonment which I am definitely benefitting from." I hit his shoulder knocking him backward and leaned over his reclining body grinning wickedly.

"Keep going."

"You're also feeling a sense of empowerment at capturing my heart and soul for your personal use. You know that I would do anything for you, and that's giving you the confidence to act out some of your darker desires."

"Like?"

"Like tying me up and corrupting my youthful innocence."

At this I laughed and rolled onto my back shaking with more laughter. "Somehow you've got this all backwards," I giggled.

He took my previous position and leaned down to kiss just below my collarbone. He trailed the kisses to my mouth and stayed there for a long time, time seemed to melt away while the emerging wildlife stirred around us. His mouth was waking up the parts of me that I didn't realize I had previous to last night. He finally ended the kiss though I wasn't quite ready for him to pull away.

"Why are you so different, Serenity? I have never met anyone like you. You seem so much older than 19, like you've lived three lives already."

"Maybe I have."

His look wasn't skeptical or condescending. He waited for me to clarify.

"Maybe I've just seen a lot of things in my life and have been exposed to more than the average person."

"Like what? What experiences mold someone to be like you?"

I was stuck on an answer. Most of the experiences that defined my personality were negative or unbelievable to his scientific mind. I couldn't tell him the truth, but I couldn't think of a satisfactory lie. I resorted to a generic answer, a truthful, but shallow answer.

"My family is really close. They've done a lot of things that I've had the chance to see or encounter in some form or another. They've had a huge impact on my life."

"They are really great people then, because you're one of a kind."

I smiled a very knowing smile. He wasn't far off.

"Do you want to go back to the house?" he asked.

"It's so nice out here. I could fall asleep in this sunlight."

"Then don't move. I'm going to get some pillows and blankets."

I raised my eyebrows in the manner that Alice was so accustomed to doing. He grinned and kissed me on the top of my head. "I'll be back in 15 minutes."

Fifteen minutes came and went. My mind was still reeling from Evan's touch. I felt like I was finally catching up emotionally where my body and mind had been for the past two and a half years. Where I had always considered myself a child, the youngest and most dependent of all my family members, I could now accept that I wasn't the same person who left New Hampshire 17 months ago. I didn't know if my parents and family would accept me as an adult or if they would go back to treating me like a child, but I had a life that they had to respect was mine. They wouldn't begrudge me the happiness that I had right now. It may be difficult with our need to protect our secret, but there were ways to live on the edge of the vampire world but not quite within it. Charlie Swan was proof of that.

Twenty minutes snuck by, and I missed Evan. I smiled to myself that I was turning into a lovesick teenager. Alice would just roll her eyes and shake her head at me in amusement. I decided not to listen and followed Evan back to the house. I wanted to be with him right now. I couldn't help it.

I pictured every scenario possible- sneaking up on him or surprising him with an agility that I could explain away as gymnastic training. Tracing his scent down the trail, my mind was already 20 more minutes ahead in the future, and I couldn't wait. So naturally I was shocked when I heard a familiar, but not Evan's, voice just to the side of me say my name.

"Serenity?" It was said as a question, but there was no question to the way he said it. His eyes knotted together in confusion wondering what on earth would bring the two of us to cross paths on this nondescript trail in the north of France on a random spring Sunday.

"Dr. Bryst," I looked around uncertainly, "what are you doing here?"

His posture was awkward, as if he wanted to flee any second. He was nervous and almost antsy. Completely unnatural for a vampire.

"I'm meeting a friend."

"Evan?"

He looked at me as if I were speaking an unfamiliar language. "Evan?"

"This is his family's home. Didn't you know?" I was getting very uncomfortable with this conversation. Where was Evan?

"We were passing through." His voice seemed to trail off as the wind shifted. His eyes widened when the scent hit him full force. It hit me as well.

Warm, sweet, human blood.

We were bullets through the forest. I had never run so quickly in my life. I was running for his life, before it was too late. Dr. Bryst moved faster than I did, but not by much. I caught the blur of his body as he whipped through the trees, following him visually as well as by scent.

We sped through the forest and into the sparsely populated valleys which often flooded when the spring rains came. Out here the scent thickened; I knew the human was close, and I knew it was Evan. My mind was blank- not able to comprehend the dreadfulness that I was about to find, willing my heart to believe that it was some other unfortunate stranger.

Dr. Bryst stopped dead in his tracks skidding half the width of a football field before he stopped. He whipped around and grabbed me by my waist to slow my approach.

Just ahead was a strange vampire and in his hands was a limp Evan.

"No!" The sound was feral and horrified, choked and gut-wrenching. I screamed it over and over fighting to escape. My panic birthed new abilities to wrench out of my captor's supernatural hold, and I rushed over to the shocked vampire who had just murdered my Evan. "Don't touch him!" I ordered as I pulled him into my arms.

"Turn him!" I screamed and sobbed back to the professor. "You can turn him, now!" He didn't move. "Do it! Why are you waiting?"

Dr. Bryst was at my side trying to take Evan's body from me as the stranger stepped back wide-eyed at this exchange.

"Serenity, his heart's not beating. The venom won't make its way through his body."

"I'll pump it through myself! Turn him," I sobbed barely able to expel the words from my throat. "Please!" I begged.

"There's no blood to pump through- nothing to carry the venom. Serenity, please, honey, come with me."

"No," my sobbing was becoming more hysterical by the second. "No, no, no." I held his body to my chest rocking him as if I could comfort him in these last minutes. All this time, I was worried about losing Darcie, but it was Evan that I wouldn't be able to keep.

Dr. Bryst's phone rang, and he glanced down at it. "It's Carlisle, Alice must have seen." He touched my back; he wasn't accustomed to comforting those who lost their loved ones to a vampire's appetite. He walked away and spoke to Carlisle in hurried fragments. I didn't care what he said. I couldn't focus past this searing agony washing over me. He was back asking me questions as if I cared to ever speak again.

"Carlisle's on his way. He swam the channel and is on his way across land right now."

I couldn't even acknowledge that he spoke or that I understood. Everything was black. My eyes were shut tight against the reality that had just destroyed this boy's life. Suddenly Evan seemed so young, like a child to me- someone whom I should have protected. I knew the dangers out there. I should never have let him go. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, next time, I'll just go with him. I won't let him out of my sight. We'll spend the next 60 years entwined in each other's arms, and he'll be perfectly safe and happy with me.

It's odd how, when you lose someone very close to your heart, you think of them in the present tense. My mind ran through the papers that I knew he was working on. Research articles he was planning to read when we returned from France. I kept organizing his Monday into all the things that he needed to do, so he wouldn't get behind on his dissertation. Refusing all the while to note the gradually decreasing body temperature of the body that I now held.

The blackness deepened until someone was shaking me to get my attention.

"Serenity, it's Carlisle. I'm here, baby. Talk to me, please."

"Evan," I whispered. Couldn't he see what had happened?

"I know. Serenity, I need you to come around. Ok? Please, sweetheart. Look at me." I felt someone put a cold hand on each side of my face trying to force me to see… something.

"Who knows you're here? Does he have any friends or family who's here right now?"

"We're going out tonight. We're supposed to eat at his home again. We stayed there last night." My mind was slowly clearing. Instead of black pain, a gray numbness was seeping through my veins. I thought of Jane and Alex, maybe he was here cooling his sister's fire. Evan wasn't dead; this was one of her fiery mind tricks. Outside my deadened body, I could hear a conversation, but it didn't make any sense.

"Make it look like an accident. Wild dogs. I'll go make a complaint in the next town to lend credence to the story. Don't let him leave. He'll have to cough up the blood. The body has to have bled out. There _has to be a pool_."

His voice was much closer now.

"Serenity, may I have Evan, please?"

"I have to protect him," I whispered to nothing.

"He has to protect you, now. You've done all you can do. It's his turn." Those hands were making me look again. Golden eyes.

"He'd want you protected from any implication in his death."

I shook my head. He wasn't dead.

"You didn't hurt him, did you?"

"No," I breathed.

"He knows that. He knows it wasn't you. He doesn't want anyone to blame you. Let me help Evan protect you, Serenity." He spoke more softly now, barely above a whisper, "Please give him to me. I promise I won't let anyone hurt him anymore."

"He loved me."

"Of course he did, honey. Everyone loves you. I love you, your parents love you, Darcie loves you. Let us love and protect you, please."

His voice was so soothing. Maybe he was right.

"You won't hurt him."

"Never. I promise. Alice and Jasper just arrived. Your parents are on their way. Edward and Bella will be here soon, too. As soon as Embry meets up with Jacob and Seth, they'll fly over. We're here to help you. Give him to me. I'll be as careful with his body as if he were my own son."

I looked up and finally _saw _Carlisle there. He was so sad. I had only seen that look once before—exactly 10 years ago today- the first time I had met my grandfather. I could remember the first words I had ever heard him speak, "What have you brought down upon us." I wondered what I was bringing down upon us now. Whose wrath might this incur?

I trusted this man. I believed his earnestness. I looked down once more at the beautiful child in my arms and kissed his forehead one more time.

And then he was gone.

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A/N: Thank you to 1122 and LaylaLolly for their reviews. You are amazing people. Please review and tell me what you think. I'm good with a simple "loved it" or "hate it" or anything in between. Hope everyone has a beautiful weekend!

Lots of Hugs to Reviewers!  
Dawn


	13. Chapter 13 Something

**A/N: My life is fixing to get hectic. I'm finishing my Specialists Degree. My research is due in a month. I have finished chapter 14, and I'm working on 15. Updating will be a bit slower than it has. I did leave a treat at the end if you're interested. Read it to find out. ;)**

**I have to dedicate this chapter to my very best reviewer. She loves these shout outs, and I can't help myself. Here's your hit- MRS. CULLEN1122, you will LOVE this chapter. It's what you've been waiting for.**

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Chapter 13

**Something**

Deadness

Heaviness

Crushing weight

Loss

Pain

Searing agony

Vacant suction within my being

Furious entity apart from myself lashing at anyone who came near

Nightmares for hours

Nothing

Nothing

Nothing

Finally,

Something.

Life still continues. Loss changes you forever, but this planet was set in motion, and that momentum carries it and those who inhabit it forward unceasingly. Life looks neither to the right or left and certainly not backward. It's a curse when you need to wrap yourself in the pain and not move, but as you start to look around and realize that the days still come and go and the moon continues its course across the nighttime sky, this passage of time drags you along until your innermost need to belong with the living, despite that your entire heart wishes to remain with the dead, propels you to move once more- even if your new life is a shadow of what it once seemed.

**Eleven Weeks Earlier**

Alice and Jasper took me back to the house. The police arrived after a few minutes. Alice's perfect French accent incurred no doubt that she and her boyfriend were simply driving through the country when they happened upon a terrible scene.

_There were wild dogs that were chased off by our car. Yes, it was so unusual. We don't ever remember anything as horrible as this. She was hysterical in a tree. It looked like the man had tried to fight the dogs with a branch. He fell backwards—over the roots of the tree. The branch must have torn his throat. Yes, it was a dreadful accident. She hasn't spoken since. We think she's in shock. No, we don't know her name. We'll take her to the nearest hospital and stay with her there. Of course we'll be available if you need to contact us. _

This was my experience for weeks; conversations between everyone were half-spoken and referring to me in the third person. I had lost the ability to converse in anything more than single syllables. I blamed myself because there was nobody else to blame. I couldn't be angry at anyone, not even the vamp who took Evan's life blood.

I also couldn't continue the life I had worked so hard to create.

I couldn't talk to Darcie. I refused to attend class. I was unable to tolerate the familiar settings that reminded me of the boy that I loved. Every spot where Evan and I had spent the smallest measurement of time became landmarks of memories that tore open my heart.

In short, I had to leave my feeble attempt at fitting into the human world; without Evan it was too painful. I returned home to New Hampshire, and drifted through the next three weeks in a daze. The scenery changed but not much. Some days I spent in my room. Others I spent in that little alcove where I had enjoyed a spring afternoon with Embry so long ago. There were days that found me sitting in the kitchen unable to move from my window seat. Most mornings, afternoons, and evenings saw me staring at the TV, staring but not seeing anything. It became a habit to flip through the channels while my mind re-enacted my favorite memories of the last 6 months. It was the only consolation that I permitted myself.

My family hovered, but they couldn't help. They tried. How they tried, but except for Esme, none of them could really understand my pain. Human death was common; they were all so fragile.

Bella usually took "Serenity Duty" and sat holding my hand, or, at times, she would lie beside me. She turned out to be wonderful. She let me be. She didn't ask questions. She respected my need to be left alone even if no one else in the house believed that was ok. Best of all, she didn't tell me how everything would work out one day. She didn't try to convince me that it was for the best. Maybe she was doing for me as she would want her family to reciprocate when the time came. Unlike the rest of us, Bella was still connected to the human world with very real ties that one day would sever.

If Bella was the most tolerable, Edward was the worst. He had to explain what everyone else was thinking. He tried so desperately to understand me and to figure out how I was feeling and what I needed.

But, honestly, he really sucked at figuring out people without using the mindreading ability.

I let him talk. Sometimes it was interesting. It did provide moments of downtime for my brain. If I listened, at least I didn't think. But mostly it was annoying as hell being told how worried everyone was and how sorry they were that this happened. I had already figured that one out by myself.

Embry came by during one of these episodes. This particular day I woke at dawn but refused to move. I missed breakfast and lunch. Mom and Dad both sat in my room, Mom stroking my hair, Dad looking out the window. Embry had remained in our New Hampshire home when he realized that I was coming home permanently. He gave me more space than I thought him capable of, but that was about to come to an end.

He appeared at my bedroom door uninvited.

"Do you care if I talk to her?"

I could imagine every response going through Mom and Dad's minds, but they must have been at the end of their ropes because they left without a single complaint or warning.

My eyes followed him as he moved around my room. It was the most movement that I had engaged in all day. He pulled open a few drawers, opened my closet, and shifted through items that I had left about.

"So, you've been avoiding me," stated matter-of-factly.

I didn't know what he was talking about.

"I've been around purposely trying to be in the same area with you for weeks, but every time I get in your line of sight, you leave and hide in here. Is it a conscious effort or subconscious?"

I stared at him. I didn't know what he wanted me to say.

He rolled his eyes. "Come on Serenity, say something. How about, 'Oh, Embry, I'm so glad you came back. I've missed you.' That would work for me."

I had no emotion to impart, but I gave him what I could. "Oh, Embry, I'm so glad you came back. I've missed you."

He flopped down on my bed. "Oh, thank God. I was wondering if you had totally forgotten about me. I kept thinking, if I had only put out for you, if I hadn't been so pedantic, you'd still want me."

I'm sorry. I know I just experienced a devastating loss, but I had to smile. And I immediately felt guilty and wiped the smile from my face.

"Stop doing that!" Embry commanded. "You are still allowed to smile. You're allowed to laugh; you can go out and do something. You can take advantage of old flames." He got right into my face. "You can still _live,_ Serenity. Let's go out and get something to eat. Let's drive around and pretend that we're going to eat. Hell, let's lie to everyone and go sit in the park for a couple of hours. You can mope there as easily as here."

I shook my head; I didn't want to. He was wrong. How could I live, when _he_ couldn't?

"Embry," I whispered. How do you tell someone you used to be so close to that you weren't the same anymore? That you had changed and that they wouldn't like the new person you'd become. My tongue stuck in the back of my throat, and I couldn't form the words.

"What?"

"I, just, I can't talk about it. I don't want to."

"Good, because I don't want to hear all the details of what you and that guy did together." He paused and looked reflectively to the ceiling. "I wanted your first time to be with me, and I missed it."

That made me move. I shot up into a sitting position, and Embry even jumped up from the shock of sudden movement.

"You know?" I hissed.

"Hello! Freaky psychic vamp down there who sees _everything_. She and I had a very long and private conversation on the flight home." He leaned away from me and propped himself on the back of my bed's headboard. "Do you have any idea how many decisions a guy makes during a, how do I put this tactfully?" He looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath and let it out in a huff. "Awe, screw tact. Guys make like a hundred decisions when they're trying to get in a girl. And Alice actually likes the play by plays she gets. I mean, she's on some ramped up AM frequency; it's real-time voyeurism." He shook his head in condemnation. "She's got some serious issues." Alice could be heard hissing from just below us mixed in with Bella's giggling.

"Do my parents? Are they here?" I strained to hear their body movements. I could only pray that they left, and I didn't realize.

"Oh, yah, they know." He chuckled to himself. "I mean, they didn't know 3 minutes ago, but they do now. The fact that they haven't busted down the door means someone has a tight grip on them."

All I could think of was Oh, crap. Crap and fans.

"Alice saw everything?"

"The girl should be forced to walk around with a parental warning stamped on her shirts. Thank God she can't see my decisions. If she could," he let out a long whistle, "she'd have to have NC-17 carved between her eyes."

I actually laughed. I had changed, but Embry hadn't. Still the same one-track-mind and hilarious perspective on life.

He was practically begging me, "Let's get out of here, Serenity. Come on. You don't have to shut yourself away for eternity. I'm starving. If you buy me dinner, I'll do anything you want me to do later." He grinned wickedly. "Show me some of your worldly experience. Heck, even I haven't gone international."

I rolled my eyes this time. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do. You've already decided. Hey, I'll help you get dressed! I know I saw some black lacey underwear in here somewhere."

At this the door burst open and shot across the room barely missing Embry on its projectile path. It thudded into the wall, and I could catch the scent of New Hampshire's late spring sneak into my room from the splintered wood. My dad stood seething in the entrance.

He never unclenched his teeth. "If you're going to go eat, then go out and eat. And Stay. In. Public. Alice!" he roared.

"Good grief, Emmett, you don't have to yell; I'm right here." And the voice walked in carrying a pile of new clothing twice as tall as Alice herself. "Dress up!" she sang. "Rosalie, Bella, come help! Serenity's out of her funk!"

What could I do?

* * *

I did what anyone in my position would do. I took it day by day. Everyone in the house was so relieved at the end of my catatonic state that Embry was almost revered. My parents didn't like the idea of he and I together, even as friends, but the alternative was not an option.

We went to movies. We ate out. We drove all over the northeast corner of the U.S. He let me talk; he let me brood. In short, he let me do whatever I felt like doing- no questions asked, no expectations expected.

It was June 21th. The weather was turning hot which didn't bother me. What did bother me was that it had been eleven weeks since the accident. For some unexplainable reason, the fact that summer was here ticked me off. I woke up angry that I was warm. It infuriated me that Alice took the shirt I wanted to wear and probably donated it. Dad was wrestling with Jasper outside, and the actuality that they were enjoying themselves created a fury in me. There was nothing to eat, so I cooked eggs even though I'd rather had cereal. I slammed pans in the kitchen gleaning a few raised eyebrows from the undead. Everyone was tip toeing around me as if I were surrounded by broken glass.

I was turning into my mother.

That thought left me cold, which, with a 103 degree average body temperature, was remarkable. I slammed the last pan in the sink and stalked out the door.

Embry was at my side before I left the property wearing nothing but a ragged set of shorts. He had evidently been on wolf duty just moments ago.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing." I answered tersely.

"Geez, I don't play that game, Serenity. What's the problem?"

"Nothing." I echoed.

He grabbed my arm. I yanked back with my vampire strength nearly pulling his arm out of joint.

"Don't touch me."

"Look, if this is some Dr. Jekyll moment, I come back. If it's not, then Talk. To. Me."

"I'm having a bad day, okay? That's it. Just give me some space, Embry."

"You've got the whole forest. Space issue solved. Who are you mad at? What'd I miss?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, great, _progress_." His sarcasm was even getting on my nerves.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to be around anyone. I just want to be left alone."

He followed me for the better part of two miles.

"I'm not leaving you alone. Who knows what you'd do; you're acting crazy."

"You had no problem leaving me alone last time. I don't know what your holdup is now." I kept on walking.

"This is about me?"

I turned to face him, to actually get in his face. Every step I took towards him meant one step he retreated. "It wasn't, but we can make it about you. Maybe if you hadn't left, I wouldn't have gone to Europe. Maybe if you had gone with me like you were supposed to, none of this would have happened. Maybe this is your fault."

He held his ground now. "Maybe it is, but I can't fix any of that. Is this your new stage of grief? First it was 3 weeks of silence, then it was 2 months of moping. You need 1 more month of being pissed off?"

I actually shoved him. He flew at least 25 feet backward into the trees and hit the ground effortlessly. "What do you know about what I need? Have you ever lost anyone? Do you have any idea what it feels like? No. You don't. So shut up and get away from me."

He looked stunned and then anger washed over him in waves. I could see his body start to shudder slightly. It was never a good idea to make a shape-shifter angry, especially when they sprouted razor-sharp teeth. He grabbed my arm with equal force pulling me back towards him. I twisted away, but he had a tight grip around my waist. He pulled me into his space and removed my option of walking away.

"Hell yah, I know what it feels like to lose someone. I lost _you_. I know that it was my fault, but I couldn't see any way around it at the time. You went off, met someone, and fell in love when you were supposed to be in love with me. It didn't take you long or didn't you notice?"

I yanked my arm out of his grip and responded with equal sarcasm. "I'm so sure you've been waiting for me this _whole_ time," I drawled out. "So I'm supposed to pine away for you while you're here chasing whatever suits you at the moment? How many…"

He crushed his mouth against mine. It wasn't sweet or gentle or anything that I had ever experienced. It was filled with need and urgency. My anger at him didn't subside, instead it fueled my response. My return kiss was equally as demanding. My mind shut down, and our hands moved on their own without thought or intention. Clothing fell away, and whether or not I would have something to wear on my return home never entered my mind. I'd break into a store and steal something if I had to.

Our movements picked up in fervor. This was simply taking what we needed however we could.

I had officially shocked myself back into reality.

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A/N: Ok, so some inside information. I had toyed with the idea of making this fic an M rating, but honestly, I'm pretty sure that I suck at writing that type of stuff. I did put a piece together. It's the last scene but written with A LOT more detail.

**If you want it, it's on my profile. DO NOT READ if you're not legally an adult. Warning, warning, warning. It is lemony.**

**Love you all!  
Dawn**


	14. Chapter 14 Repercussions

**A/N: So, I crossed # 8 off my insanely busy to do list . Sorry for the delay. My brain is running on fumes in the creative department. Read and review, please! Life is still happening. I'll update just as soon as I can, but it might be until after Thanksgiving. :(**

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Chapter 14

**Repercussions**

I was shaking, positively shaking from my toes to the ends of my fingers. I could feel my heart beating away so fast it felt like it could have burst out of my chest and have run laps around me. I curled up after dressing myself again and pulled my knees into my chest. I watched Embry dress himself in the shorts he practically shredded in my effort to rid him of them a short while ago. Even my breath was trembling as it rushed into my chest and out again.

He fell to the earth beside me and raked both his hands through his hair. I tried to smooth down mine picking out odd bits of twigs and leaves and a few pine needles that were eyewitnesses to the previous moments. I had no words to offer. I was still shocked by my behavior. It wasn't something that I ever thought I would do. For some reason, I always pictured myself the sweet one in my family- the one who enjoyed candlelight dinners and long seductions.

Apparently, not always. It must be the vampire in me.

Embry was not happy about this.

"I'm so sorry, Serenity. This shouldn't have happened. I don't know what I was thinking!" He jumped up and walked a few feet away. My insecurity imploded, and I felt like my entire being was melting into a pool at my feet. I couldn't even look him in the eye.

"This was, I don't know. Damn. This was just, _wrong_. I…"

I might still have had the form of a person, but there was nothing on the inside. It was vapor, gone. I felt ashamed and humiliated and rejected. A new grief saturated all of these feelings. My heart was past comprehending any of this.

More tears. Would they ever end? Surely there comes a point in your life when tears aren't your first reaction to pain.

Embry noticed.

"God! I'm sorry!" He was wrapping me up in his arms immediately. "This isn't you. This isn't your fault. I'm so, very sorry. This is my fault. Please, don'y cry. Please, Serenity. Please, I'm so sorry." He tightened his hold on me and gradually I began to believe him.

"I'm sorry, too," I whispered, unable to make much of a sound.

"Don't you dare apologize! I did this. I started this, and I shouldn't have."

"But why not? What's wrong with being with me!"

"It's _not you!_ I swear it's not you." He kissed the top of my head where his cheek was resting. "You're so wonderful and perfect. I just lost control. I should never have kissed you. I wasn't thinking at all."

"I wanted you to kiss me, Embry. I needed to forget. Just for a moment."

He mumbled my name over and over again. Interspersing it with kisses and tight embraces. "I just don't want you to get hurt because of me. I can't forgive myself if I mess with your emotions. I didn't mean to today. That just happened!"

He shook his head trying to clear his mind and figure out what exactly had prompted him to instigate his actions.

"I kind of liked that it happened," I said shyly, "but you're freaking me out because you're so freaked out about it."

"When you turned around to face me. I just got hit with this gigantic, hell, I don't know what it was. You're eyes were so intense, and…" he trailed off remembering.

"You're not disappointed in me? I mean, I haven't done this much."

Embry held me even tighter. "No, how in the world could I be disappointed in you? You're going to hate me if I imprint and leave you tomorrow. I don't want that to happen. You have no idea at the pain involved."

"I think I do."

Embry closed his eyes and sank a little lower. "Of course you do. I'm just not thinking. You've got me all messed up. I mean, my brain is shot to pieces."

If I had been a human, I'd be broken into bits by now. As it was, I felt safe at last. Safe enough to smile a very shy smile and look up to kiss him very gently and to have him return that small action with equal care. I shuddered a small sigh at finally feeling like myself for the first time in weeks.

Wrong. So, very, very wrong.

The whoosh of air parting for an object forcing itself through the forest glades hit my ears at the exact same time that Embry's warmth was ripped away from me.

A growl reverberated from the stone rock around us.

Embry flipped twice and shifted in the midst of the second twist to land solidly on all four legs, a beast of fur, muscle, and rage. My eyes sought the intrusion, and my body prepared to fight.

Edward stopped twenty feet from us.

"They're coming."

I knew exactly who he was talking about. My mother and my father. My God, would it _ever_ end with them?

Edward had sped ahead to give Embry time to phase and be prepared for their attack, and that's exactly what it was. They were after blood.

Five seconds ago, this secluded part of the forest was completely silent except for mine and Embry's quiet exchanges. It was now vibrating with the growls and snarls of vampire and wolf alike. Mom and Dad moved like lightning through the hollow taking him from front and behind. Mom grasped his left leg and a sickening _crack_ resounded as Dad aimed for his head. Just before contact, Jacob flew into the mix and dug his fangs into Dad's left shoulder and tossed him through the trees severing his left arm cleanly from his body.

Seth appeared half a second later followed by the rest of the crew.

Two wolves squared off against Mom and Dad. Embry and Dad were both roaring with pain. Carlisle and I rushed to Embry's side while Esme and everyone else rushed to Dad, mostly to keep him from doing anything else stupid and to help him attach his arm.

Thus it ended as quickly as it began.

Embry phased back and lay coiling with pain. I held his head trying to focus his attention on me. He stared in my eyes desperately trying to hold it together. Sweat poured down his face, and I wiped it from his eyes while Carlisle deftly set his broken leg. I didn't dare glance at my parents. I was seething internally at their stupid, stupid actions.

I was reminded of a woman in a mall once who took her two boys to an outside play area. They looked to be about the same age and build. They might have been paternal twins. Alice and I walked by watching the kids wrestling on the grass. They looked like they were killing each other. The mother's expression said, 'Sometimes you just have to let them fight it out. Get it out of their system.'

That could apply here. Definitely.

"I'm sorry, Embry. My parents are crazy." My voice quivered and broke when Embry cried out in pain. Carlisle had to twist the bone a fraction of a millimeter as it began to set incorrectly.

Carlisle assessed the situation. "I apologize, Embry. I know this is painful. If I had bandages, I could set this with a splint. Try not to move. As soon as I'm sure that everything is neutralized here, I'll send someone back to the house."

Emmett's profanities reverberated through the forest intermingled with his growls. Rosalie spoke up, "Serenity, he's taking advantage of you. Why don't you see that?"

"Technically, I was taking advantage of him."

"Wonderful!" Emmett roared.

Alice couldn't seem to help herself. "You know, she's a lot like you, Rosalie. I don't know why I didn't see it before."

Rose hissed in response. "Embry's been trying to get to her for years, and I refuse to allow her to get hurt that way. She's just lost someone.

Edward's input was on the same level as Alice's. "Yes, because they jumped right into this the moment they were able, right?" He continued with a small shake of his head. "You and Emmett are hurting her more right now than anyone else here."

Emmett grimaced in pain as the venom began reforming the tissue to connect the arm back to his torso. The fire burned any the microscopic residue that lingered between the body parts, and that fire was no less intense than during the transformation process. Fortunately, it only lasted for minutes rather than days.

"Why does it have to be a damn wolf, Serenity?" Emmett groaned once more as the fire's intensity hit its plateau.

"Because who else is around? Where do I fit in here? I'm not human, and I've tried that route; it didn't work. I'm not full vampire, and there are no vampires around to consider anyway. It's not like any other mythical creatures are imprinting on me—no mermen, no fairies, no giants or centaurs. Maybe we should see if Hades will release the Kraken; I might get lucky."

Emmett cursed again as Rosalie put the slightest pressure on his arm to ensure a solid connection for the healing. "Where did you learn to be such a smartass?" he spat.

And the entire coven plus two wolves burst out in laughter. Jacob and Seth snorted their amusement. Even mom and Embry smiled; the hilarity of the situation wasn't lost on anyone—Dad included.

Emmett scowled and his face contorted once more and the reattachment was complete.

Carlisle used his hands to cool Embry's face while I continued to support his head in my lap. "Bella, would you mind getting my medical supplies please? I'll need to set this bone properly. It's going to take several hours before the healing secures it correctly. You know what to get?"

"She should. She has more personal medical knowledge on broken bones than anyone else here," Edward teased. Bella slapped his backside as she took off through the trees.

Carlisle's diagnostic intuition reached Emmett. "Are you okay? Is yours and Rosalie's anger under control?"

Both cut their eyes towards Carlisle and then at Embry. Their mouths twitched which was the extent of an answer that Carlisle would get.

"Jacob?" He stood there and cocked his head to the side. You could almost feel the attitude coming off him.

"Then let me continue. I expect you all to understand that this is never to happen again. Despite the fact that the wolves have incredible healing abilities and that our kind can be 'put back together again', I am not allowing this family to fight amongst ourselves."

Rosalie's mouth dropped open to counter, but Carlisle silenced her.

"Yes, Rose, we are a family, the wolves included. They have risked their lives multiple times to protect all of us and continue to do so by their presence here. I don't care about your issues with the wolves. That problem belongs to you and Emmett. This family is my concern. Esme and I love every member here, and we will preserve our ties with each other in civility at the very least. Am I clear to everyone here?"

Carlisle's soft-spoken, yet undeniably firm chastisement was met with silent accord.

Edward spoke, "Jake and Seth need to move Embry to their house. They'll have to phase first. They're giving you a chance to leave."

The crowd dispersed silently. "Embry, I'll come over soon to check on you, okay?" I whispered into his ear."

He managed to form that heartbreaking smile even in the pain that visibly rocked his body. "Yah. Don't want you comparing me and Jake. You'll lose respect for him."

My head shook back and forth while Carlisle chuckled softly.

Jacob's voice boomed out. "Beat it girly. He's not going anywhere."

I left for home.

* * *

The house was buzzing as I approached. Nevertheless, everyone ceased their conversations when I walked through the door. Mom was tending Dad though he seemed well enough to me. Alice and Jasper sat with Bella while Renesmee and Edward had a near silent discussion at the piano.

I skipped the family reunion and headed up to take a shower. I wasn't alone for long.

Renesmee pranced into the bathroom and sat on the counter. Alice followed.

"Dang, Serenity. You can turn this household upside down faster than anyone else I know."

"You can't blame me for my parents being hotheads. They've always been that way."

Alice was arranging some clothes for me to wear but still voiced her opinion. "You know they were getting along really well before. It almost felt like it did back when, you know?" She off-handedly mentioned to Renesmee. I could feel Nessie's agreement. I turned off the shower, grabbed the towel, and opened the door.

"You're blaming me for that episode a few minutes ago?" I asked. "Mom and Dad pick a fight with the wolves, and it's my fault?"

"No, of course not. I was just saying…" Alice started.

"How did it happen anyway? Did you see it?" I wondered.

"I saw their decision to go look for you, and then, out of the blue, they decided to kill."

"They were going to kill him!" I screeched.

"No, not literally. I mean, it was a possibility. Everything went black, how was I supposed to know what would happen if I couldn't _see_ it? So anyway, Edward saw what I saw, then Rose and Emm noticed. They decided to leave, and Edward tried to give you a heads-up. You're lucky he's so fast."

"Yah, fortune's my middle name." I dressed quickly and pulled a comb through my hair. It would dry soon enough. "Renesmee, can I spend a few days at your house? Please?"

She hesitated and glanced at Alice. "I need to ask Jake, he's…"

"I'm not asking Jacob. I'm asking you if I can stay over for a couple of days. I'm not requesting a transfer of deed." I asked again, "Please, Nessie."

She nodded her head quickly. "Of course. It's fine. Stay as long as you need. Embry's a slob, so be prepared."

"Thank you. Alice, can you pack me some clothes?"

"Don't leave again, Serenity." Mom requested as she and Esme appeared at my door.

"I'm not leaving. I'm going to take care of Embry until he's healed up." Alice appeared with a bag of clothes. "I'll be back in a few days." I grabbed the bag, wiped some products from the counter into it, and took off out the door.

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Renesmee and the wolves lived in a two-story on the edge of town. There were plenty of trees, and they provided enough privacy for an easy come and go. Renesmee led the way in through the back door. She took a turn down a basement corridor where Embry stayed.

The basement had all the signs of a chronic bachelor. Clothing lay in piles, there were heaps of unopened shoeboxes and plastic shipping wrapping. A trashcan overflowed with popcorn bags and fast food containers. At least there wasn't a rotting food smell. The wolves didn't waste a crumb of food.

Carlisle was still checking Embry's leg when I walked up to the bed. Embry grinned sheepishly.

"Yah, it's a mess. I know. I need to imprint just to have someone to keep it clean."

I slapped him on his shoulder. As if…

"You're aren't that great a catch. You need to seriously learn how to use a trashcan. It's not difficult, you know."

"Embry, keep your leg as still as possible. The bone is set, but there was ligament damage at your pelvis. I'm sure it will mend soon enough." Carlisle looked him steadily in the eyes. "Be careful. No moving," and he looked pointedly at me. "Keep him flat on his back," Jacob snickered behind me. "and keep it uneventful."

Carlisle's knowing gaze caused the blood to rush into my face. How embarrassing to have your grandfather lecture you on coupling. I dropped my bags on the floor to the right of his bed and shook my head at the adorable form laying beside me.

"You're eating this up aren't you?" I asked.

"More than you can imagine," was his reply.

Jacob's voice rang out. "Hot damn, we got us a girl who can cook!"

Embry stayed put for four days. I'm positive that he was fully well on day three, but he milked the attention for all it was worth. It took me an hour to clean his room, which, if I weren't going to be living there, even temporarily, would have stayed the pigpen it was. I, however, don't sleep in the midst of cobwebs and trash heaps. The basement turned out to be a really nice setting once it was straightened up.

He had two big screen TVs mounted side by side on the wall with piles of games all over the place. Once I organized them into their respective console groupings, I realized that if Embry and I weren't sleeping together, Dad would love this setup. Esme reigned in his gaming hobby, but I could totally picture him in the middle of a thousand games playing from sun-up to sun-up again.

Embry even had a hot tub, but I refused to touch it on principle. There was no telling what had happened in there and with whom. I had never caught an infection, but I wasn't planning on courting that disaster.

I kept the wolves' bellies full—minus the dog food—and Embry swore that he was going to tie me up and never let me go.

Part of me wished so very much.

"I just don't see why we can't keep this going for a while, at least," I pouted.

He was sitting up rubbing my back. "I saw it happen with Sam, Emily, and Leah. It's wasn't just about Sam imprinting on Emily. When Leah joined the pack, the pain in her head was unimaginable. Men don't have any clue what they cause to people like you unless they can see it for themselves. Leah's entire security was shattered. She was a nice person before, but when Sam imprinted…" his voice dangled. "It destroyed her self-confidence. She was angry and confused, hurt and rejected. She was bitter, and no one should have to know that type of hurt. She felt like a sub-species. Like she wasn't good enough for normal guys. It took her months, Serenity, months before she could separate herself from that feeling of being discarded. That's probably a good word for it. If I imprint, and we're still together, you're going to feel like I've thrown you out with the trash. I won't be able to do anything about it. We can't deny an imprint. We can't fight it. I know I'm not telling you anything new here, but I just don't think you're hearing what I'm saying."

"I hear you, it doesn't feel like it's really going to happen to you. If nothing changes, it won't happen right?"

Seth walked down to join our conversation. "Do you know what Quil was doing the day he imprinted on Claire? Going to Jake's house. But for some reason that he didn't understand at the time. He just had to go the opposite way. He had no idea why he was going to Emily's house. He just had to go. If Embry's even close to his imprint, he'll move like a magnet towards her. He won't even realize that he's doing it."

"I know that."

"Imagine he's at a movie with you, and you want to sit in the back, but he walks to the front to sit next to a nine-year old girl, and he never looks at you again. Or he's supposed to drive you to one place, but he goes someplace else to see a cashier. How about a baby is born in La Push, and Embry hops on a plane, and you never hear from him again."

"I think you're stretching it a little."

"I sure hope so," and Embry shuddered. "I want to imprint on a 45-year-old woman to worships Botox, is filthy rich, pets me senseless, weighs 130 lbs with huge…"

I slapped him. "You're a jerk."

"I'm waiting for you to figure that one out and run for your virtue."

"I don't have much of that anymore."

"Maybe we are perfect for each other," Embry mused.

Jacob called down from upstairs, "Phase it guys, we got vamp reek comin' in."

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A/N: You know who this is, but he's hasn't appeared yet. Review and I'll send you the first 3 paras from the next chapter. (make sure you're logged in!) They're rated T. Love you all! Dawn


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